IF YOU CAN DETECT IT, YOU CAN CORRECT IT

By Coach Lorne

 

If you can detect it, you can correct it!

 

The person who brings you a problem holds the key to solving that problem.  That is the big and basic starting point that coaches launch from.  Any set of facts can be spun into any number of stories.  Every story locks you into a predictable outcome.  When the facts are used to limit what is unlimited, to close what should be open, to stop what needs to start, to turn off what and who needs to be turned on then it's time to put a new spin on those facts. 

 

If you are telling yourself a story that is not working for you, that makes you cry and die then PLEASE, do yourself a favor and make the facts tell you a new story, one that will work for you.

 

Happiness is the solving of your problems.

 

Why not start thinking of those workplace problems as job security.

 

Remember, if you can detect it, you can correct it.

 

Now do it!

 

The goal is not to fix the blame.  The goal is to fix the problem. 

 

If you feel it, you can fix it.

 

"The only affective source of innovation is angry people."  Tom Peters

 

If You Can Detect It, YOU Can Correct It!

How To Achieve Financial Freedom

By Coach Lorne

 

"All I ask is for the chance to prove that money can't make you happy."   Scott Miligan

 

We buy things we don't need, with money we don't have, inorder to impress people we don't like.

 

The Canadian ratio of debt to personal disposable income hit a high of 152.98 per cent in the third quarter of 2011 according to Statscan.  The report comes as Bank of Canada Governor Mark Carney is again sounding the alarm over swelling household debt.  "Our greatest domestic risk relates to household finances," the central banker said in a CBC radio interview.

 

Roughly one in 10 Canadians is in a vulnerable financial position, Mr. Carney said - meaning that the cost of servicing their debt consumes more than 40% of their income - "and that historically, is where people start to have issues in making their debt service payments."

 

36 per cent of Canadians carry a balance on their credit cards.  The average outstanding balance is $6,938, according to Scotiabank, June 29, 2011. 

 

An every growing mass of Canadians is crashing into the reality that when you don't pay off your credit card in full each and every month, the balance grows, doubling every two years.

 

Here's how to achieve financial freedoms by using the  ROLLOVER FORMULA.  Dave Ramsey call the procedure "the Snowball effect."

 

The average credit card holder has 3.5 cards.  If you have outstanding balances on two or more credit cards, use the ROLLOVER FORMULA TO PAY THEM OFF.

 

1.  Make a larger payment on the card with the highest interest rate and pay the minimum on the rest.

 

2. Once this card is paid off, apply the amount of its payment to the minimum amount you were paying on the card with the second highest interest rate.

 

3.  When the second card is paid off, add the amount to the payment of the third card until you have paid off all your credit cards.

 

By rolling over this extra principal payment you will achieve Financial Freedom.

 

Then it's time for some plastic surgery - cut up the credit cards.  If that seems too drastic, freeze them in a milk carton.  The time it will take you to heat up the milk carton will be sufficient time for you to cool down your purchasing jets.

 

Remember - you have no idea the things you can do without until you try.

 

My thanks to Remax Realitor Damon Bunting for mining out the ROLLOVER FORMULA.

 

 

 

 

 

OVERCOMING A CAREER-LIMITING HABIT

 

According to Crucial Skill’s research, 97 percent of employees report they have a habit that keeps them from achieving their potential at work. Overcome your career-limiting habits by following these tips:

 

·         CREATE A PERSONAL MOTIVATION STATEMENT.  When you hit a motivational wall while changing your work habits, visit your "default future"—the career you'll have if you don't change your habits.

 

·         INVEST IN PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT.  Actively develop the skills you need to be viewed as a top performer through training, workshops, or books.

 

·         HANG WITH THE HARD WORKERS.  Use positive peer pressure by surrounding yourself with hard-working friends who share your career goals. Distance yourself from the office slackers.

 

·         FIND A MENTOR.  Find a trusted mentor to encourage your progression and help you navigate the career development opportunities that exist within the organization.

 

·         PUT SKIN IN THE GAME.  Reward yourself for reaching short-term goals by placing money at risk. For example, if you reach your goal in your next performance review you can purchase a reward with the money you set aside. However, if you fall short, the money goes to support the political party you oppose.

 

·         CONTROL YOUR WORKSPACE.  Make your new habits easier by enlisting the power of your surroundings. When possible, turn off electronic interruptions that keep you from being productive.

 

·         LOVE WHAT YOU HATE. Tell yourself a new story that will work for you and get you where you need to be, doing what you need to do.

 

·         DO WHAT YOU CAN’T. Here’s the rant: “If it is to be it is up to me!”

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. MEMORIAL

"Out of the Mountain of Despair, a Stone of Hope"

Washington DC.

 

THE FOURTEEN QUOTES ON THE INSCRIPTION WALL

 

"We shall overcome because the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice."                                (August 1967, Atlanta, GA)

 

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that."               (1963, Strength to Love)

 

"I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant."                                   (December 1964, Oslo, Norway)

   

"Make a career of humanity. Commit yourself to the noble struggle for equal rights. You will make a greater person of yourself, a greater nation of your country, and a finer world to live in."                                                             (April 1959, Washington, DC)

 

"I oppose the war in Vietnam because I love America. I speak out against it not in anger but with anxiety and sorrow in my heart, and above all with a passionate desire to see our beloved country stand as a moral example of the world."                                        (February  1967, Los Angeles, CA)

 

"If we are to have peace on earth, our loyalties must become ecumenical rather than sectional. Our loyalties must transcend our race, our tribe, our class, and our nation; and this means we must develop a world perspective."                                             (December 1967, Atlanta, GA)

 

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.    

                                                                (April 1963, Birmingham, AL)

 

"I have the audacity to believe that peoples everywhere can have three meals a day for their bodies, education and culture for their minds, and dignity, equality and freedom for their spirits."

                                                              (December 1964, Oslo, Norway)

 

"It is not enough to say "We must not wage war." It is necessary to love peace and sacrifice for it. We must concentrate not merely on the negative expulsion of war, but on the positive affirmation of peace."

                                                             (December 1967, Atlanta, GA)

 

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."                                      (February 1967, Los Angeles, CA)

 

"Every nation must now develop an overriding loyalty to mankind as a whole in order to preserve the best in their individual societies."

                                         (April 1967, Riverside Church, New York, NY)

 

"We are determined here in Montgomery to work and fight until justice runs "down like water, and righteousness like a mighty stream."

                                                       (December 1955, Montgomery, AL)

 

"We must come to see that the end we seek is a society at peace with itself, a society that can live with its conscience."

                                                                 (April 1963, Birmingham, AL)

 

"True peace is not merely the absence of tension: it is the presence of justice."

                                                                  (April 1963, Birmingham, AL)

HOPE - “a desire for something good”

When Mary delivered Jesus in the Bethlehem barn, the door of hope swung wide open.  Phillip Brooks hums this lyric into his carol “the hope and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight.”

 

Christmas hands us the potential of hope.
ØBecause of Jesus we have hope for healing when we are hurting.

ØBecause of Jesus we have hope for help when we are working.

ØBecause of Jesus we have hope for forgiveness where we've blown it.

ØBecause of Jesus we have hope for comfort when we are hurting.

ØBecause of Jesus we can move from cope to hope.

 

Hope is a word you sometimes have to shoehorn into you story. Hope crashes into walls but then starts to climb them. Hope gets pinched but then processes the pain with honesty and faith. 

In their living room in Ontario, our long friends Keith and Betty whispered to Ellen and I of the help that gently happened to them when they decided to deal with the worst pain of their life with honesty and raw hope.

 

Christmas hands us the potential of hope.

 

The hope you hold onto will hold onto you.

Hope is the only way you can walk forward into the unknowable future.

 

Every book we read, course we take, investment we make, new product we purchase, question we ask, project we launch, cosmetic we apply, perscription we take happens in the engergy of hope.

 

People terminate their life when they have to leave a note on the table that state; "I live in a world without hope."  The hopeless life is the un-liveable life.

 

My New Year prayer is that you will get a vice grip hold on hope and keep marching toward your bigger, better, bolder future. 

 

"Your biggest break can come from never quitting.  Being in the right place at the right time can only happen when you keep moving toward your next opportunity."     Authur Pine

 

No one can predict the future.  Another way to say this  is: "It is easy to predict the future.  The problem is getting it right."

 

"The best way to predict the future is to create it."  Peter Drucker

 

Hope-addicts shout "YES" to life!

 

You have no idea the things you can do until you try with hope. 

 

Why just exist - cope when you can explore with hope?

 

I can help you with your hope.  That's what I do.  I'm a LIFE COACH.

 

Get me on your team.  Call 780 991-6975.

 

All The Way With P.M.A. (Positive Mental Attitude)

 

Coach Lorne

Helping You Move Forward

 

 

 

 

 

 

GIFT GIVING IN DECEMBER YOU WON'T REGRET IN JANUARY 

 

It's Jesus birthday but somehow we end up with the gifts.

 

The wise men initiate the concept of giving when they opened their treasures to Joseph, Mary and Jesus and gave gold, frankincense and myrrh. This giving happened in a home in Jerusalem when Jesus was a yound child.  (Matthew 2:1 - 11)

 

Here's ten tips on giving in December that you won't regret in January.

 

1. Remember the Chinese proverb: "Buy the best cry once."

 

2. Don't buy stuff you can't afford.

 

3. Forget surprises, buy what they want, in a size that fits, and a color that

     works.

 

4. It's a mistake to believe anyone- especially your wife, who tells you:    

     "I don't want anything."

 

5. Do your shopping early when supply is plentiful and pricing is good.

 

6. When in deep doubt, remember the ultimate gift certificate that works

      everywhere - CASH.

 

7. Your best gift may be finishing a project your promised to complete.

 

8.  For the lady on your list think  "cure" like manicure, pedicure.

 

9. Get suggestion for mom's gift from your grown children.

 

10. Finally, pay for it with cash in December and you'll resist the temptation

      to splurge that is painful to pay for in January.

KICK THE CAN.

 

 That's how I made it to and from school,  I walk up and down the back alley to McDougal elementary school kicking a can.  Wherever the can landed that's where I went for my next swift kick.  Kicking the can is never the straightest route home but wonder of wonders, all of a sudden you're at the garbage cans that punctuate the property line of the place called home.

 

The Divorce Can

 

Take him for as long as you can,

Take him for all that you can.

 

Contrast that with this can.

 

The Christian Living Can

 

Do all the good you,

By all the means you can,

In all the ways you can,

In all the places you can,

At all the times you can,

To all the people you can,

As long as you can.

 

John Wesley - Theologian

 

Mitch Anthony develops his book on retirement around this big principle:

"As long as you have something to give, give that something."

 

Here's eight questions that will help you decide if you should stay in the game:

 

1. What are you passionate about?

2. When you wake up what do you wish you could be doing?

3. How do you want to spend your time?

4. What really turns you on?

5. What is fun for youand not work?

6. What activities do you like to do?

7. What gives you a sense of fulfillment?

8. When you look out and your world is smiling back at you, what are you

     doing?

 

 

                               How To Negotiate Workload Limits
                                             By Coach Lorne

Crucial Conversation's website Vitalsmarts.com is a great place to sharpen your communication skills.  Their mantra is "Have The Right Conversation."

Here's six tips that will help you have that "right conversation" with your boss.

• Earn the right. Asking for fairness in work limits is easier when you have a reputation as a hard worker. Before raising concerns, evaluate if you are truly doing more than your share.

 
• Clarify intent. Don't start the conversation with complaints—start by establishing mutual purpose with your boss. Begin with, "I have a concern about my workload, but I want to be clear that I care about helping our team succeed. I don't want to request changes that will make your life harder or put our goals at risk."

• Focus on facts. Don't start with broad conclusions or generalizations that put others on the defensive. Build the case for the point you want to make by sharing objective facts. For example, "I've observed that those who do their work get rewarded with more work."

• Clarify boundaries. Be clear about any hard and fast limits you have on your workload. If, for example, you have family commitments or personal time values you won't compromise, lay those out clearly and stick with them.

• Propose solutions. Don't just come with complaints—come with recommendations for how to make this work for your boss. If you just dump the problem on your boss, he or she may help you solve it, but you'll strain the relationship.

• Invite dialogue. Finally, invite your boss to share his or her viewpoint. People are willing to listen to even challenging views as long as they believe you are also open to theirs.

 

You can't run away from problems.  People who try to discover that when they get where their going, the problems will be there too, only with a different face and name.  The answer isn't in fight or flight but in facing and fixing.

 

Oh yes, and finally...face it and fix it, don't Facebook it.

 

Have the right conversation with the right people.  Keep your  confrontation and correction conversation circle as small as possible.  The goal is to get rid of your headache and not your head.

THREE SECRETS TO SUCCESS

By Astronaut Sally Ride

 

1. Be willing to learn new things.

 

2. Be able to assimilate new information quickly.

 

3. Be able to get along with and work with other people.

Five Reasons It's Easier to Succeed

By Cathy S. Truett, Founder

Chick-Fil-A Company

 

1. It's easier to succeed because failure exacts a high price in terms of time when you have to

    do job over.

 

2.  It's easier to succeed because success eliminates the agony and frustration of defeat.

 

3. It's easier to succeed because money spent to fail must be spent again to succeed.

 

4. It's easier to succeed because a person's credibility decreases with each failure, making it

    harder to succeed the second time.

 

5. And it's easier to succeed because joy and expressions of affirmation come from

    succeeding, whereas feelings of discouragement and discontent accompany failure.

 

Success is the progress you make towards your goal!

 

A life coach will alway help.

 

Coach Lorne

Helping you move forward.

TEACHABLE

“The most difficult subject can be explained to the most slow witted man if he has not formed any idea of them already; but the simplest thing cannot be made clear to the most intelligent man if he is firmly persuaded that he knows already, without a shadow of a doubt, what is laid before him.” Leo Tolstoy

“It’s what you learn after you know it all that’s important in life.”

·         Lifelong learners ask the right questions and listen to the tight answers.

·         Lifelong learners are constantly curious and relentless researchers.

·         Lifelong learners listen long and journey forward self-managing their persistent “ ya-buts.”

·         Lifelong learners remain teachable, fascinated, engaged and open.

·         Lifelong learners try out the new tools, and observe how they impact the life process.

HOW DO YOU HANDLE WHAT YOU CANNOT CONTROL

I can control what I think. I can control what I do as a result of what I think. The Bible pushes the point that:  “As a man thinks in his heart so is he” and  “If there is anything worthy of praise, think on the things that are pure, love, of good report..”  The call is for follower of Jesus to "cast down every thought that exalts itself against the knowledge of Jesus Christ."   The not so subtle implication is... it's your brain, you are responsible for what's in it.  The Zig Ziglar-ism is "have a check-up, from your neck-up, and change your stinking thinking."

I can and hopefully I will control me. I cannot, however, control you.   So here’s the big deal from Jesus. You cannot control what people are going to think and say about you and do to you. Stop wasting your time and draining down your energy trying.   Get on with the big business of doing what is right just because it is right. Walk in wisdom, go for your goals, live your life to your finger tips, do your dreams  and for that uncontrollable zone remember  what Jesus said “Wisdom is justified by all her children.”  Let time and life prove your wisdom, your walk and your ways. "The proof of the pudding is in the eating." (The Message)  "Wisdom is proven by all its results" (Luke 7:35TBV)

When the dust settles, the roar silences, the banter stops, the true you will come through and the value of what your are contributing will be calculated.

If you get rejected, shake that rejection dust off of your shoes and out of your soul. Don’t let that toxic stuff settle on the furniture of your heart. Don’t let what you can’t control, control you. Intentionally, deliberately, purposefully reject rejection.  Sing out the lifeline from the musical memory bank "I was born to reject rejection, so send a little love my way." Get on with the faith and freedom of what Jesus calls “ABUNDANT LIFE.”

                                                                                                   Coach Lorne (with my pastor hat on)

Be authentic.  Looking good is overrated.  Everthing else is overrated.

Here's a great blog from Bachrach that's worth a read and a remember.

 

"Nice guys don’t have to finish last, but trying to make sure you never fry anyone off is guaranteed to slow you down. If you are serious about your professional goals, you can’t be worried about keeping everyone happy.

This may sound as if I’m contradicting my own motto: It’s all about them. But don’t be fooled. “Them” refers to people who are or will be great clients, not everybody else.

You have your goals, your standards, your system for serving clients. This is why “it’s all about them”—it’s the best mindset for creating a thriving, sustainable financial practice—not because you are entered in some kind of popularity contest. There will be times when you have to do something that is patently disagreeable to people, but doing so will be crucial to achieving your objectives.

In other words, you have to stand your ground if people
 treat you like a salesperson,
 don’t implement their plan,
 try to get you to alter your market strategy based on what they read in investing magazines, or
 are less committed to their financial goals than you are.

To me, it’s largely about integrity. How can you credibly purport to help others achieve their goals if you’re not achieving yours? You’ve got to be living a financially successful life, or you haven’t earned the right to help others be financially successful. "

 

BachrachBlog

START AT THE TOP

By Coach Lorne

 

"I want to speak to the person who answers to nobody!"

 

That was the opening line from a frustrated customer who was seeking resolution for a problem with a piece of electronic equipment.  It was spoken to the person who stood up and stepped forward at the Customer Service Desk with the predictable: "May I help you?".  

 

"I want to speak to the person who answer to nobody!"

 

The significant sentence in my life this week came from Dave Conroy, who died May 15, 2011 at 91 and whose funeral I gave a talk at on BURY, BUILD AND BELIEVE.

 

"Start at the top if there is something you want to accomplish - you will always be directed down to the right person in the decision making channel."  Dave Conroy.

 

Start at the bottom and you get bumped around, from person to person, office to office, department to department, counter to counter, line-up to line up.  It's a bumpy road that uses-up your time, abuses-up you attitude and bruised-up your good will.

 

Do a little research. Find out the name of "Mr. or Miss. Big" in the company, organization or department you will be dealing and doing business with.  Walk in the door, get on the phone, write the letter to that person.  Remember, you want to speak to the person who answer to nobody. 

  

Want to start something, stop something, bury something, build something then remember the words of Dave Conroy: "START AT THE TOP!"  

 

Thanks for the process principle and the push Dave.

 

 

 

                                     DEBT FREE...TRY IT, YOU'LL LOVE IT!

 

One week each month I set aside for confidential conversation with people regarding their finances.  My end goal is to work with people and generate a Will, a Power of Attorney Statement and a Personal Care Directive for that end game moment when there is "no hope of recovery" from a physical condition.  Nothing I do eclipses this work when it comes to customer appreciation. Over and over I hear this declaration at the doornob "this was incredibly helpful."

 

The Bible makes 2350 statements about money and has nothing good to say about debt.   The points it makes are clear and clean.

 

                                 "The borrower is slave to the lender."

                                            "Owe no man anything!"

 

Try dancing your way around those declarations and directives.

 

Here's the research lowdown on people who insist on buying now and paying later....

 

"Unpaid credit cards double their debt every four years!"
(Debtor Education, Financial Literacy, and Pending Bankruptcy Legistlation by R.L. Wiener, C.B. Donovan, K Gross and S Block-Lieb)

Coach Lorne

 

 

 

I hope that scares "the borrow" right out of you.

 

Debt detours, distracts, debilitates, disqualifies and even ends up destorying relationship. 

 

Want to get out of debt?  Use the Einstein Law of finance....F.I.R.E.

 

F.I.   FIND INCOME

 

R.E.  REDUCE EXPENSE

 

Your world has an angle for every buck you can beg, borrow or steal but remember, you have no idea the things you can do without until you try.  There's no power like the power of a positive "NO"!

 

Your finances stack up under two columns.  Column one - OWN.  Column two  - OWE

 

Subtract your OWE total  from your OWN total and you have your net worth. 

 

Face that fact.  It's your friend!  Facts are alway your friend. 

 

Here's one of those mom mottoes: "When your outflow exceeds your income, then the outcome will be your downfall."

 

Personal finances, now there's a zone your ought to zoom in on with your whole-life coach.

 

Yea Team!  Because...

By Coach Lorne McAlister

 

"None of us is as smart as all of us!"  

 

Just finished reading, for the third time, the quick read book "High Five".

 

It starts off with the story of a corporate superstar who get's smart-sized out of a job six months after new leadership is in place in the company.  The accidental yet intentional conversation with the new CEO in the parking lot reveals that the real reason is... "you are being let go not because of lack of personal performance but because you will not work, develop and succeed with your team. "

 

The push for partnership wisdom on leadership in the book comes from an eighty two year old winning basketball coach who now lives in a nursing home with her husband.

 

                                              "None of us is as smart as all of us."

 

The mantra from Extreme Dream president and my long friend Mike Love is  "It takes teamwork to make a dream work."

 

It's not the superstar, the genius, the work-a-holic, the-do-the-work-of-ten person who really succeeds and significanly impacts our world.   The person who does that is the person who can put ten people to work.   The person who can get the right people on the team, who gets them playing the right position on the team, who can coach them into working as a team and then pulls the production out of the potention of that team, thats the individual who's the real success.  YEA TEAM! 

 

For a fairly average, ordinary Joe like me, this is very, very encouraging.  "None of us is as smart as all of us."   Of course it's true.  That's why boards are essential.  That's why employees earn their wages.  That's why consultants and coaches actually work.  That's why "help" is such an essential request in any setting. "None of us is as smart as all of us."

 

Before I pop my final period onto this blog let me state that in life "it's what you learn, after you know it all, that really matters" or as the older boy slapped me into silence recently with this sentence..."I'm not young enough to know it all."  

                                               "None of us is as smart as all of us."

 

 

 

WHEN SPECIAL PEOPLE CAN’T TALK TO YOU By Coach Lorne I’VE DONE THIS, TO MORE THAN ONE SPECIAL PERSON, MORE THAN ONE TIME Here’s a great question and a helpful answer. As the guilty father-in-law, father, husband, coach, I am tucking this truth into my toolbox. This exchange is from the March 23, 2011 Critical Skills Newletter. CRUCIAL QUESTION: “My father-in-law is a very powerful person and I don't feel comfortable speaking honestly about anything with him. If I ask him a question about an issue I want to resolve, he announces his opinion then cuts off any discussion by saying, "Well, that's how life is sometimes" as he stands up to leave.” “I think he is very wise and would like to learn from him, but I can't get him to engage in any kind of dialogue. As a result, I leave feeling like I don't exist and that he thinks he knows all. My husband seems to take after him so I feel like I'm in a communication desert all by myself. Do you have any suggestions?” Sincerely, Craving Communication   Dear Craving, I would have given a different answer twenty years ago than I will today. I'm still very much a believer in people's potential to change. However, some life experiences with a wonderful variety of loved ones have led me to conclude that everyone is a package. Myself included. We all have idiosyncrasies, habits, and proclivities—some of which are the source of our genius and some of which drive everyone around us batty. And sometimes, the genius and the quirkiness flow from the exact same attribute. I say this as prelude because, while I will advise you to hold a crucial conversation, I will also encourage you to work on yourself first. Clarify your motives before even attempting the conversation. If your motive is to "fix" or "change" your father-in-law, you're more likely to be disappointed than effective. If instead your goal is to share feedback then accept his freedom to accommodate or ignore it, you will not only come across entirely differently (i.e., not needy or pushy), but you will be more likely to have influence. Ironically, if your motive is to control, you not only fail to gain control, but you lose your influence. If you give up trying to control others, you gain influence in the bargain. With that said, here is some advice about how to hold the conversation itself. Hold the right conversation. Often, we fail at the outset because we dive into the wrong topic. For example, we talk about content—what just happened—when we want to talk about a pattern—something that happens regularly. This could happen in your case because you address something your father-in-law just said to you when your real issue is a pattern of these sorts of comments over time. Your goal needs to be to have a pattern conversation. And that calls for a special approach. Timing is everything. Don't wait until you're bugged to talk. That's what most of us do with our pattern conversations. We wait for yet another instance of someone behaving badly then we pounce on it; not to address what just happened, but to dump our laundry list of grievances from ages past. If you want to talk about a pattern, pick a time that is not clouded with a recent transgression. It not only helps you be in a proper mindset, but it helps avoid giving the other person an opportunity to make excuses about the pattern by pointing to special issues in the present instance. For example, your father-in-law might say, "I had to walk out just now because I have a conference call in half an hour!" Make it safe. You have all the right information in your question to create safety at the beginning of this conversation. Read it again. You clearly care about your father-in-law. You respect him. You want something from him that he is likely to feel flattered giving, so that's what you need to make clear as you start. For example, you might say, "I'd like to talk about some ways I could have a better relationship with you. I value the relationship we have, and I'd like to be even closer and more comfortable. I admire you, sometimes to the point of feeling intimidated around you. I also see you as a great source of wisdom, something I'd like to take advantage of even more than I do now. And yet, there are some things in how we interact that don't work for me. I'm hoping it is okay to share how I see it and find out how either you, or I, or both of us could communicate better. Ask permission. One of the best ways to ensure others feel safe is to sincerely ask for permission before launching into the crucial conversation. If your father-in-law might be uncomfortable with this level of communication, it is all the more important to help him feel in control by asking his consent before launching into your concerns. All you need do is add, "Would that be okay?" to the above monologue. Change media. Judging from your description, it may be that your father-in-law will be too uncomfortable to have this conversation face-to-face. If that is the case, you may want to try mixed media. If you choose to write a letter, I would make the same "make it safe" statement from above then add, "I think the best way to express some of what I wanted to say is in writing—so I've written this out. But my hope is that we can discuss it afterward if you're comfortable doing so. If not, then I understand and will be fine keeping things the way they are now." You'll notice that the last phrase tests whether you have surrendered your hope of controlling him or not. Be sure you have or your words will ring hollow. I hope these ideas help. It sounds like you've fallen into the same pattern with your husband, so I hope these suggestions are a step toward creating the relationship you clearly want to have with him as well. Sincerely, Joseph Grenny Crucial Conversations

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Joseph Grenny is coauthor of three bestselling books, Influencer, Crucial Conversations, and Crucial Confrontations. His fourth book, Change Anything will be available April 2011

WHEREVER YOU GO THERE YOU ARE

by

Clint Black   &   Hayden Nicholas

 

Bottle of scotch whiskey not very smooth
Like snake bite cure from the medicine man
Not bad poison if there's something to soothe
It's a whole other world in the palm of your hand

Out of this world and out of your mind
Just like it don't matter what you're leaving behind
Trying to change your life you change your point of view
But no matter what you do it's the same old you

Wherever you go there you are
You can run from yourself but you won't get far
You can dive to the bottom of your medicine jar
But wherever you go there you are

Bottle of scotch whiskey whatever you find
When you're out on a wire it's a matter of time
Changing every moment when you're taking the fall
There's everything to gain when you're losing it all
Feel your head spinning with your feet on the ground
You climb the wrong ladder and it's keeping you down
Think you're gettin' higher but you're still layin' low
And you don't want to be anyone you know

Wherever you go there you are
You can run from yourself but you won't get far
You can dive to the bottom of your medicine jar
But wherever you go there you are

Once you've been bitten it's like crossing a line
It's a part of the plan all that's on your mind
Think that it'll help you find somebody to be
But the man in the mirror is all you'll see

Wherever you go there you are
You can run from yourself but you won't get far
You can dive to the bottom of your medicine jar
But wherever you go there you are
I said wherever you go there you are

You don’t need permission to…

• be your best and do your best
• let go of your past baggage - gift yourself with forgiveness
• challenge the status quo with “so what!”
• pursue your passions
• design your preferred future
• overcome fear and resistance  
• call yourself what God calls you
• go the extra mile for others
• strive for the exceptional, instead of the acceptable
• learn from the past but live in the now
• step out in faith
• ask for help - it takes teamwork to make a dreamwork
• be authentic - looking good is overrated
• listen long, learn lots, act on the fact
• walk away from mediocrity and the average
• stand up and speak out for what you believe in
• live, laugh, love
• work like a hunter, but think like a farmer

So, what are you waiting for?

CHANGE

By Coach Lorne McAlister

 

• IS IT WORTH IT?  (If not, why waste the effort?)
• CAN I DO IT?  (If not, why try?)

Your large "YES" to the two questions will trigger your change process.

 

You are going to choose your behaviors based on what you think will happen to you as a result of that action. 

NATIONAL WEIGHT CONTROL REGISTRY FACTS

 

Since 1994 people have participated voluntarily in this registry and reported their success at losing weight and keeping it off.  Here's a summary of what these "winners at losing" report.

 

• 80% of persons in the registry are women and 20% are men.
• The "average" woman is 45 years of age and currently weighs 145 lbs, while the "average" man is 49 years of age and currently weighs 190 lbs.
• Registry members have lost an average of 66 lbs and kept it off for 5.5 years.
• These averages, however, hide a lot of diversity:
  • Weight losses have ranged from 30 to 300 lbs.
  • Duration of successful weight loss has ranged from 1 year to 66 years!
  • Some have lost the weight rapidly, while others have lost weight very slowly--over as many as 14 years.

   

• We have also started to learn about how the weight loss was accomplished: 45% of registry participants lost the weight on their own and the other 55% lost weight with the help of some type of program.
• 98% of Registry participants report that they modified their food intake in some way to lose weight.
• 94% increased their physical activity, with the most frequently reported form of activity being walking.
• There is variety in how NWCR members keep the weight off. Most report continuing to maintain a low calorie, low fat diet and doing high levels of activity.

   

  • 78% eat breakfast every day.
  • 75% weigh themselves at least once a week.
  • 62% watch less than 10 hours of TV per week.
  • 90% exercise, on average, about 1 hour per day.

In the book "Influencer - The Power to Change Anything"  the authors recap this research with these three observation of the vital behaviours of people who are successful at losing weight and keeping it off.

                    1.  They exercise on home equipment.
                    2.  They eat breakfast.

                    3.  They weigh daily.

                    

Here's a couple of  weighty conclusions from the take-it-off-and-keep-it-off gang:

 

First:  When you buy fatty foods, you eat fatty foods.  It is easier to resist

           buying unhealthy items that it is to resist eating them once they're in

           the house.

 

Second:  When you choose to eat wrong today, you choose to weigh wrong

               tomorrow.

 

Don't wail on the scale if you cheat when you eat!

 

Indulge... Bulge!

 

You can flip your flab!

 

A life coach will be a huge help as you start to downsize. 

 

Getting started and sticking with it is what coaching is all about.

 

Coach Lorne McAlister
780 991-6975

Helping YOU move forward

OH YES YOU CAN!!!

 

A nudge forward from Coach Lorne

• The Presence of God lives in you!
• The Power of God flows through you!
• The Promises of God are prepared for you!
• The Proclamations of God are guiding you!
• The Partners of God - angels - will protect you!
• The Provision of God - armor - equips you!

 

THE WORDS LEADERS ARE AFRAID TO SAY

By Linda Hill and Kent Lineback

·        "I don't know."

·        "I was wrong."

·        "I'm sorry."

·        "Would you help me?"

·        "What do you think?"

·        "What would you do?"

·        "Could you explain this to me? I'm not sure I get it."

No one, boss or not, likes to admit error or ignorance. But an inability to recognize and admit openly when you lack knowledge or make a mistake will make you less effective as a leader in two ways.

First, it will keep you from learning.

The second reason to acknowledge error or ignorance is the issue of trust. The foundation of your ability to influence others is their trust in you as a leader, their belief that you will do the right thing. Pretending you know more than you do, or failing to recognize and draw on the expertise of others, is a good way to keep people from trusting you and your judgment. People know when you don't know something; they know when you're wrong or made a mistake or need help. They're reassured when you know it too and are willing to say so. People expect you to understand the business and how it works and to know enough to make sound judgment calls. But you needn't be the expert-of-experts.

Having said that, let's be clear. This is another of those fine lines that managers must approach but not cross. On one side of it, people respect your ability to recognize your own shortcomings and your willingness to learn. Without those qualities, people are less likely to trust you. On the other side of that line, however, too much expression of weakness, error, and uncertainty will also diminish people's trust in you. In every situation, you must find that line and remain on the positive side. Straying too far from it, one way or the other, will make you less effective.

“If you concede the obvious you’re conceding nothing, but you gain back credibility. That’s a trade you should make every time.” Mark Katz (Clinton &Me Humorist For Hire)

 

WORKING WITH THE POSSIBILITY WITHIN YOU

By Coach Lorne McAlister

 

If you are looking for a champion, an affirmer, a cheerleader who will work with the possibility within you, then you are looking for a life coach. My greatest thrill as your life coach is doing just that, working with the possibility within you.   

 

HOW DO I DO THAT?

 

• I encourage you to pull back the curtain and look at the stage that you belong on.
• I challenge you to refuse to settle for what is.
• I push you to dream of what can be.
• I refuse to affirm your mediocrity.
• I remind you that labels are libel and that it’s time to grab a fist full of new ones.
• I pull hard on the promise, the potential, the possibility that is within you.

 

I’LL REMIND YOU OF LIFE TRUTHS LIKE…

 

When you’ve got everything to gain and what you have to lose is worth losing by saying yes, then by all means say… shout yes!

 

It can be done and YOU can do it!

 

“Put all your excuses aside and remember YOU are capable.” Zig Ziglar

 

“Joy comes from using YOUR  potential.” Wil Schultz

 

“It’s time to start living the life YOU’VE  imagined.” Henry James

 

“If YOU can dream it, YOU can do it.” Walt Disney

 

“Do one thing every day that scares YOU.” Eleanor Roosevelt

 

“Begin to free YOURSELF at once by doing all that is possible with the means YOU have and  as YOU proceed in this spirit the way will open for YOU to do more.” 

                                                                                        Robert Collier

 

In a recent introductory coaching conversation with a potential client she declared:  “I’m feeling very  uncomfortable.”

 

WELCOME TO COACHING.

 

• If you want comfortable, you want the couch. 
• It you want the possibility that is within you, then you want coaching.

 

LET’S CUT TO THE GUT. 

• You know you are not living up to your full potential. 
• You know there is possibility within you that with some external help and some internal courage and commitment can become the fresh facts of your life.
• You’re wired for more. 
• You’re tired of less. 
• You’re ready to be fired up for your new and true future.

 

Let me work with the possibility that is within you. 

 

It is going to cost you lots less than you think and it is going to help you lots more than you imagined.

 

HERE’S HOW WE ARE GOING TO HOOK UP, CALL ME, COACH LORNE -
780 991-6975

 

“Helping You Move Forward”

 

The Fine Art of Procrastination

By Coach Lorne

 

Procrastination; putting off until tomorrow what you have already put off until today.

 

Procrastination; living in the pleasant reality that laziness pays off right now whereas hard work only pays off in the future.

 

Chances are there is something you should be doing right now instead of reading this blog. Something that is burned out needs to be replaced. Something that is dirty needs to be washed. Someplace that is a mess needs straightening up. Something that is broken needs fixing. Something that has been started needs completing. There’s a book to read, a lesson to prepare, a test to study for, an assignment to finish. About 95% of us procrastinate to some degree.

 

Calgary professor, Piers Steel,  has written a book about putting things off. It’s called “The Procrastination Equation: How to Stop Putting Things Off and Start Getting Stuff Done.”

 

In it he states: “The reason we procrastinate is because we humans are hardwired to gravitate towards short-term pleasure over long-term benefit.  It doesn’t matter that we’ll do better if we spend a week studying for a big exam, and in turn, succeed in life. Most of us will still go for that video game, or movie, or a night out, anything until the long-term chore becomes a short -term necessity.”

 

Who can’t relate to Steel’s three reasons why we procrastinate

1. We lack the self confidence - why risk it
2. We feel the task has limited value - why bother
3. We just give in to our impulse - why now, later-alligator-syndrome

 

“If you find it boring, you’re definitely more likely to put it off.” Steel concludes.

 

Need help doing what needs to be done, when it needs to be done.   Find a life coach who will hold you accountable to complete the tasks that will move forward the agenda of your life.

Optimism, Hope, Faith

By Coach Lorne McAlister

 

Edmonton born actor Michael J Fox has done us all a favor, but not in a showy way nor in a secretive way, by continuing to live openly his life journey as a person with the twitches and twists of Parkinson's disease.  As his years on the public stages run on, I have exchanged my feeling of sympathy for ones of inspiration and encouragement.  There's a lot to learn when a clear communicator tells their honest story of this-is-what-is-happening and this-is-how-I'm-handling-it.

 

HOW TO LOSE YOUR BRAIN WITHOUT LOSING YOUR MIND  is Fox's first book about his pathway called Parkinson.  I'm just finishing his 2009 second book, ALWAYS LOOKING UP - The Adventure of an Incurable Optimist.  Fox's book has chapters about Work, Politics, Faith and Family.  Here's a paragraph from the Faith chapter.

 

"Chris Reeves wisely parsed the difference between optimism and hope.  'Unlike optimism,' he said, 'Hope is the product of knowledge and the projection of where the knowledge can take us.'  If optimism is a happy-go-lucky expectation that the odds are in my favor, that things are likely to break my way, and if hope is an informed optimism, facts converting desire into possibility, then faith is the third leg of the stool.  Faith tells me that I'm not along  And as my years with Parkinson's disease have taught me, if any of these legs is missing, I'm gonna fall on my ass."

 

Hope provides the foundation that faith builds on.  Hope is the starting line for the race of faith. "Faith is the substance of things hoped for.  Faith is evidence of things not seen."  "Faith assures us of things we expect and convinces us of the existence of things we cannot see. "  Hebrews 11:1

 

Optimism blurts out  "All the way with PMA!" (Positivie Mental Attitude).  Hope holds on to the possibilies with the bite of a bulldog.  Faith makes room for God confessing  "I would have lost heart unless I had believed that I would  see the goodness of God in the land of the living."  Psalms 27:13

 

"I'm an optimist.  It doesn't make much sense to be anything else. "  Winston Churchill.

• Look in with optimism!
• Look out with hope!
• Look up with faith!

Choose to process life with optimism, hope and faith.  It's the only way to go.

 

"So put all your excuses aside and remember this, YOU ARE CAPABLE!"  Zig Ziglar

 

 

 

 

 

      FOR A BETTER CONVERSATION, TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT
                                       By Dr. Loren Ekroth
                    (Better Conversations Newsletter 12/28/2010)

If you want to enliven your conversations, my counsel is to try something new.  And different. Doing so will add some spice to what might be pretty bland.  No need to make any profound

New Year's resolutions to do this, either.   You can start with little baby steps with the recipes listed below.  I've used them all when appropriate.  I've found that they work nicely.

The underlying principle is to break the routine of what otherwise might be a thuddingly dull interchange.  When you manage to "break set" of interactive habits, you'll be more creative, and the conversation will have more fuel. 

Here's a list of practical tips you can use to break away from routines and "wake'em up"

◊ Wear Unusual Name Tags: 

If you attend  a social mixer or business conference that uses paper name tags, you can diverge from the usual by adding a conversation starter such as "My Home Town is Kankakee, Illinois." or "I write cookbooks for children" or "I seek a personal assistant."  These little differences usually facilitate interesting talk.  (To be outstanding, you have to stand out from the crowd.)

◊ Use Distinctive business cards: 

No need to spend a fortune.  You can, for example, put useful information on the back of your card, or use a different size with special graphics. Or print an 8-page info-booklet with your contact information (people keep  these if the information is valuable.)  You can even create "audio cards" at pretty low cost. 

At a Christmas party I met a Hollywood designer for Madonna, Lady GaGa, and Cher, among dozens of other stars.  We exchanged cards.  I gave him my poker chip card and he gave me a stunning metal card glistening with silver alloy.  He may not keep my card, but I'll keep his!

◊ Ask Provocative Questions: 

You can ask stimulating "surprise" questions early on.  Such as "Tell me something about your work that would surprise me."  Or "Can you share something about your early life that might surprise me?"   Don't make your question unduly personal, and remember  that your conversation partner can choose how they answer.  

(Example:  I might answer an early life question truthfully, that "I grew up in a county jail when my father was sheriff."  Or I might say that I won my elementary school spelling bee when I was 11.)

◊ Sprinkle in Quotations:  

You can flavor your ordinary conversation with pithy quotations, not to show off, but to emphasize a point or inject some wisdom.  Proverbs work nicely.  "I'm a Ben Franklin kind of person. You know, 'early to bed, early to rise.'  Please don't phone me after 9 p.m. "   One of my Christmas favorites is from Charles Dickens:  "Remembrance, like a candle, burns brightest at Christmas time."  Timely quotes from credible sources in the media can be potent in business groups, as in "Warren Buffet has recommended higher taxes for himself!"  Ebert on movies; Samuelson on economics; Phil Jackson on basketball; Oprah on popular culture, etc.  Quote the best, most interesting sources.

Sources for quotations are many and they are easily available in libraries.  Or here's a good reference  you can buy for $10:  "Reader's Digest Quotable Quotes".  The quotes are pithy, punchy, and memorable.
     

◊ Tell Stories or Anecdotes: 

These can be engaging, especially life stories.  While attending a Christmas Eve dinner  guests around the table recounted the Christmas events of their childhoods in a sentimental exchange.  Very appropriate, sometimes touching, sometimes funny.

Of course, avoid long, rambling tales.  Keep your conversational stories crisp and lively.  Your material can usually be from your own life and your observations.  We humans are "hard-wired" to tell and listen to stories, and almost everyone enjoys a good story well told.  You're not skilled at telling stories?  Then learn from the best by observing and practicing.  Watch DVDs of great story-tellers. 

◊ Inject Humor: 

I grew up near Duluth, MN, and people sometimes say "Duluth:  Wow, it's really cold there, isn't it?"  I respond with "Yes, Bob Hope said that the coldest winter he ever spent was a summer in Duluth."  This never fails to get a chuckle.  Humor is a great leaven in otherwise serious conversations; it lightens up the emotional tone.  Best of all is humor that you can find in the situation itself.  You might exaggerate, or point out some oddity.  Far less effective is to tell long jokes you've heard from others--and you'll find  that out when you try.   Why?   As Mark Twain remarked, "A fellow who picks a cat up by the tail gets a hundred times as much information as one who's never done it."

◊ Seek out and Talk with Stimulating New People

If you talk mainly to the same people each day, you'll not up-level your conversation versatility.  So participate in a book club or interest group, or join a Toastmasters Club.  Show up at business mixers where you interact with strangers.  Take an interactive-style class at a community college.  Invite a fascinating person you meet to have lunch (you pick up the tab.)  Form a MasterMind group.

To bust out of the routine, you must, well, bust out of the routine.  So, take one small step by doing something fresh and different.  Start now, just one new baby-step.  Otherwise, this might be your fate:

"Do you know what happens when you give a procrastinator a good idea? Nothing!"   Donald Gardner

Marriage - Ideal, Ordeal, New Deal

By Coach Lorne

 

I love you.

 

You're perfect.

Now Change!

`

CHRISTMAS BENEDICTION

 

The Lord bless you and keep you
The Lord make His face shine on you
and give you peace.

And as you remember the Child born in Bethlehem
may you know that God is with you
wherever you go.

 

May you be filled with the wonder of Mary,

The obedience of Joseph,

The joy of the angels,

The eagerness of the shepherds,

 The determination of the magi,

And the peace of the Christ child.

 

May you let the hope that was born in a stable
be a sign that God can change the world
through one small child and through you.

 

May you be captivated with enough foolishness to believe that with Christ in you,

you can make a difference in this world,

as you go out and do what others claim cannot be done.

    Grace and peace be with you
     in the name of the Father
  and the Son, Jesus
    and the Holy Spirit

       Amen.

S-T-R-E-S-S

By Dr. Nancy Irwin

 

SLOW down. Holiday stress is "good" stress.

 

TAKE some time to enjoy the good stress. If you have really taken on too much, then let some things go. Assess it fairly. Many times we exaggerate and cause ourselves more anxiety than is appropriate for the situation.

 

REALIZE that no one's life is completely stress-free all the time. How did you handle holiday stress last year? What did you learn from it? How would you like to handle the holiday frenzy next year? Further, realize that it is your choice to participate in and enjoy the holidays. You could choose to "sit this one out." Realize that you can choose your actions and your attitude.

 

ELICIT support from positive, helpful, caring people in your support system. Sharing the duties generally helps remind you of the whole point of the holidays it.

 

SIMPLIFY your life in any way that you can. Clutter in any aspect compounds stress.

 

SHARE some of your good fortune (no matter how small you perceive it) with someone less fortunate. This act alone is guaranteed to light you up like a Christmas tree. There's just no room for negative feelings in that space.

A Hallelujah Christmas!

This is my favorite time of year!  I love everything about Christmas—the lights in the yard, the tree in the house, and the “Hallelujah Chorus”!  But that’s not what Handel had in mind when he wrote the piece.  Not even close…

George Frideric Handel actually wrote the Messiah for Lent and it was performed for the first time ever on April 13, 1742, in Dublin, Ireland.  Starting in 1745, the Messiah became an annual event in Ireland during Holy Week.  It wasn’t until it came to America in the 19^th century that performances of the Messiah became associated with Christmas.

What might you be working on today that will be used in a way you least expect?

If your church or town wants to present an authentic version of this holiday masterpiece, good luck.  Handel constantly rewrote lyrics and even changed the music to suit the voice of whatever soloist might be available.  In fact, he added and subtracted so many parts and pieces that today scholars say there is simply no definitive musical text.

When you are finished with a project, are you through forever?  Or do you continue to search for ways to improve upon your work?

Handel must have been incredibly focused.  He wrote the Messiah in only three weeks.  This was not unusual for him, but he did take a few shortcuts in churning out this particular composition.  He adapted some Italian duets he had already written to serve as choruses in the Messiah.  For instance, the original words to the melody of “For Unto Us a Child Is Born” were “No, I don’t trust you blind Cupid.” 

Are you focused, yet still able to see a larger picture?  What work might you have done in the past that can complement and raise the standard of what you are doing today?

It was a literary scholar named Charles Jennens who assembled the lyrics for the Messiah out of Old and New Testament scripture.  When Jennens viewed the Messiah after it had been completed, he was beside himself with disappointment.  He hated Handel’s music.  Particularly loathing the overture, Jennens wrote to a friend, “I shall put no more Sacred Works into his hands to be thus abused.”

Do you listen to your critics?  Do you allow them to get into your head?  Or are you focused enough to create the life you choose? 

Amazingly, most of the clergy at the time viewed Handel’s work as purely secular and derided his use of sacred texts.  The Messiah would not be performed in a church for more than one hundred years!

Are you building a legacy that will last?  Are you creating beauty in the children you raise, the friends you touch, and the people you help?  The time you put into people always lasts.

Most of us are more familiar with the “Hallelujah Chorus” than any other part of Handel’s most famous work.  But…have you seen it like this?

Join the more than six million who have.  It will only take a few minutes but you will love it.  Note the look of joy and amazement on the faces of the shoppers who were surprised by this awesome Christmas gift!   And Merry Christmas to you, too!

Your friend,

Andy

 

Andy Andrews is one of my favorite story tellers.  This blog is from his website where you will alway find powerful paragraphs and stretching sentences.

 

Now follow this link to what I think is the most creative, hillarious production I've seen this Chirstmas.  It called The Silent Monks Sing The Hallelujah Chorus

 

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=777WPPNX

 

Merry Christmas

 

Coach Lorne

Prayer of Invocation

By Pastor-Coach Lorne McAlister

 

Dear God, I pray with St. Paul .. “for those who are in authority, that we may lead a quiet and a peaceable life.” I hum and hope with Joseph Mohr for another “Silent night, holy night, where all is calm, and all is bright.”

 

But not the calm of a cemetery. I pray with the Elk Island Public School Board for the calm of a well run school, a policy that just works, a staff that really gets it, a support team that compliments and completes, leaders and educators who are at least liked and maybe even loved,  students who shows us physically, emotionally, mentally, socially, and morally and supporting parents who connect and partner in the education process.

 

I pray for the future premiers, corporate presidents, managers,  supervisors, the life leaders who are in classes today. May they be infected and affected by the core values of accountability, authenticity, empathy, fairness, honesty, integrity, justice, loyalty, respect and trustworthiness.

 

I pray for the many who will build-bake-bandage, who will cook-clean-counsel, who will teach-talk-tally, who will parent-promote-produce, who will compute-correct-calculate.  May they too be infected and affected by the core values of accountability, authenticity, empathy, fairness and honesty, integrity, justice, loyalty, respect, and trustworthiness.

 

And now Lord for this team, Lisa Brower (Board chair), W.H. (Skip) Gordon, Harvey Stadnick, Colleen Lopushinsky, Lori Tootoosis Friesen, Pat McLauchlan, Barb McNeill, Ray Welsh, and Lynn Patterson give to each today, what YOU in YOUR loving wisdom see that they need most. YOU know the secret words that they carry with pain and concern. YOU know the passion that pushes and pulls on them. YOU know the source of their smile and the trigger for their tears.  I ask that in some small but significant way YOU would come with heaven’s help as this board works with the sentences and the stuff that pulsate on the pages before them that start with words like agenda, proposal, and personnel.

 

Help them to end cleanly. Help them to start clearly. Help them when leading to think with courage and with care.

 

And thank YOU LORD for what they do that is above and beyond, that is bigger, better and bolder that anyone of us looking on from the bleachers ever thought was possible.

 

Keep the 157 buses running and on the road today.

Keep the furnaces in the 44 schools working today.

Keep the 16,300 students safe and on this path we know of as “life-long-learning”.

 

May this be a day when all is calm and all is bright. Grace this vital leadership team and this leadership zone with words that at this season of the year we comfortably bold with the biggest fonts. Grace each with hope, joy, peace, good will, love. 

(Now, if there is a name you like to end your prayer with then whisper it with faith now.)

In Jesus name, I pray.   Amen.

 

Stop Buying Stuff You Can't Afford

 

Some of the best financial advice you will ever receive is in a 2:15 minute video that describes a revolutionay debt and money-management program.  Chris Parnell teaches Steve Martin and Amy Poehler the secret of financial success.  It's described in a book called, "Don't Buy Stuff You Can't Afford." 

 

Here's the link to the video.  It's well worth the watch and could prove to be the best couple of minutes you've ever spent.

http://consumerist.com/2007/04/snl-skit-dont-buy-stuff-you-cant-afford.html

                                          Coach Lorne

 

STUCK?

By Coach Lorne

 

“I’m stuck!”

“I’m bored!”

“I’ve got a lot more to give!”

“I’m producing way below my potential!”

“I’m ripe and ready for a change!”

“Help!”

 

It’s time to take charge of your life.

If you don’t do it, it won’t get done.

Don’t wait for someone else to initiate your life change process.

 

If this is how you’re feeling, and what you’re thinking then you are ready do get on with the serious business of designing your preferred future.

 

So don’t just sit there, do something significant, today.

"Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still."  Chinese Proverb

 

Here’s the coaching question stuck people answer on their journey forward.

 

• If I was sure I would be successful, what would I absolutely love to do?

 

• What new career expanding skill do I need to add to my tool box so this can happen?

 

• Who do I need to inform that I am good and ready for a new challenge?

 

• Be honest, what attitude is keeping me from gaining altitude.

 

• What phantom F.E.A.R. False Evidence Appearing Real is holding me back?

 

It’s time to abandon the idea that you are a mental midget. When you enroll in a career expanding course of your choosing, for reasons that are important to you, you are going to be surprised by how motivated you are to learn and how well you are going to do. Please enroll and make this discovery.  Stop paying the price for being stuck in stupid and start paying the price for the power that come with knowledge.  "If you think the price of edcuation is high, trying paying the price of being stupid." 

When it come to taking charge of your life, you do or you don't;  there's no such thing as you'll try.

 

One thing I know about being stuck is that this is one time when you need help.

Let a life coach help you. Stuck is one of the big things your life coach can really help you with.   

 

Stuck people know this tough truth; it's the start that stops most people.

 

"The man who does things makes many mistakes, but he never makes the biggest mistake of all - doing nothing."   Benjamin Franklin

 

"If you want to accomplish anything in life, you can't just sit back and hope it will happen.  You've got to make it happen."    Chuck Norris

 

 

 

Twenty Travel Tips from our Great Trip to Europe.

By Lorne and Ellen McAlister

 

In twenty five days in October 2010,  Ellen and I drove 4720 km in the Citron rental. We slept in thirteen different beds, used subway and public tansit systems in Frankfurt, Innsbrook, Vienna, Munich, Budapest, Dubrovnik, visited and traveled in Germany, Austria, Hungary, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Croatia and Slovenia. Here’s what we learned about traveling.

 

1. Travel with a light and moderate sized suitcase and use a backpack. Make two changes of clothes, two sets of travel underwear and two pairs of socks and one pair of walking shoes work, period. Leave your fancy stuff and jewelry at home. You can buy something on the trip.
2. Take along vitamins to keep you going and Imodium to stop you from going.
3. Don’t drive without GPS help and before you pull away from the rental agency with your car, input the first address into the GPS.
4. Use the autobahn and hang out with the trucks in their lane until you find the comfortable speed for your driving skill level and vehicle capability.
5.  Familiarize yourself with hotel chains like Ibis, Mercure and HR Hotels and whenever possible, book on-line through services like “Hot Wire.”
6. Park on the street and save the hotel parking lot fee.
7. Bed and breakfast is an experience not to be missed with accommodation which is homey, breakfast that is hearty and conversations that are helpful.
8. If you want to eat like at home, stay at home. Experiment.
9. In Europe, the coffee is very strong in the cappuccino zone. Try ordering “American Coffee”. You get more in the cup and it will not be as strong.
10. Internet is readily available in hotels and Cafés. WIFI connections are frequently available for free in the hotel lobby with connection data from the front desk.
11. Take along a favorite card game and a good book. The TV you will understand will frequently be news broadcasts on CNN and BBC and RTV (Russian TV).
12. Shop a lot, buy a little. We never regret the purchases we make when we remember the Chinese proverb: “buy the best, cry once.”
13. Keep asking for help. In every setting, someone will come forward to assist you. The map on your lap and the little flag on your lapel are clues to the locals that you are their guests and you might be needing information and directions. 
14. Self-manage. Cultural sensitivity, courtesy and appreciation are always welcome.
15. Plan on using the local currency where 24 hour bank machines are plentiful.
16. Guard your cash, your credit cards and your passport. Your vacation is going to shut down without them.
17. Be adventuresome. Take the city bus tour, the river cruise, buy a ticket and pay the admission fee. Do something different. Use public transportation and subways. Create a story well worth telling.
18. Drink lots of bottled water and learn where the Toilets and W.C. are located and get used to the fact that sometimes you are going to have to pay to go.
19. When you are craving a taste of home, look for McDonalds, Burger King, KFC or Pizza Hut. There just might be one around the corner with some familiar menu options.
20. Journal and get your facts straight, for your own sake and for those who want to hear your travelogue.

 

                                             BALANCE
                                          By Coach Lorne

 

“Balance is the state that someone achieves when all the aspects of life and self are in harmony.” - Paul Emerton

 

Balance is harmony that happens when there is menial, mental and emotional steadiness and equilibrium.

 

Balance makes wheels spin smoothly. When walking or riding, balance keeps your feet on the ground or your seat on the seat. Balance keeps careers, bodies and relationship healthy.  

 

What’s so interesting is that balance means different things to different people. 

 

From my ridiculous-stuff-I-can’t-seem-to-forget vault there’s a proverb that’s pushing hard to be heard right now. “Duck who fly upside down sure to have quack up.”

 

The self-control that dictates balance eliminates crack ups.

 

You can only steal so much quality time from your family and friends before they feel ripped off and they take off.

 

Here are three tips for balancing work with the rest of your life.

 

1. If you must bring work home, give it only an allotted amount of time.

 

2. When on vacation, do NOT work part time or answer office e-mail.

 

3. If overtime is necessary, do not commit every weeknight to it. 

    Your family and friends deserve more of your time than what’s
     left over on weekends.

Ignorant?  Smarten Up!

By Coach Lorne   

 

"Ignorance is not a lack of intelligence; it is lack of knowledge on a particular subject."  Dave Ramsey

 

"You can't fix stupid!"  Marshall McAlister

 

You can, however, get information to ignorance.

 

That's one of the big messages in the Bible.  "You shall KNOW the truth and the truth shall set you free."  Truth does not set you free.  KNOWN truth sets you free. 

 

Here's the deal, it's your head and you are responsible for what's in it and what's not in it.

 

Want to hear a bomb that blows up dumb people?  "Where ignorance is bliss it's folly to be wise."

 

Not knowing is not the answer.  The facts are your friend. 

 

Learn all you can.  Can all you learn.  Practice a can do lifestyle that acts on the facts and live what it learns.  Don't just be an info storehouse chanting the professor's rant:  "Cram it in, jam it in, student's heads are hollow.  Ram it in slam it in, there is more to follow." 

 

The only knowledge that matters is what get's from your head to your hands. 

 

In his popular book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Dr. Stephen Covey says the number-one habit of highly effective people is that they are proactive.  They "happen" to things; things don't "happen" to them.

 

You must take ownership and gain control over your life.  When you don't know - find out!  When you're in the dark, borrow light from an expert.  In class, when your bum is numb and your head is dumb, get your hand up in the air. 

 

Ignorance is not a lack of intelligence; it is a lack of knowledge on a particular subject. Ignorant?  Smarten up!   That's always an option and opportunity. 

 

"The recipe for perpetual ignorance is: be satisfied with your opinions and be content with your knowledge."  Elbert Hubbard

 

The whole point behind authors, educators, speaker is capsulize in what St. Paul state: "I don't want you to be ignorant..."

 

Stuck in neutral?  I know you don't know who to ask for help, but if you did know who to ask for help, who would you ask for help?

 

Now treat yourself to some truth!  Today!

 

.

 

 

                                      PUT ON YOUR OWN MASK  FIRST!

                                                     By Coach Lorne

 

As a public speaker I work hard at connecting with my audience and then maintaining that connection.  It helps to remember what John Candy's character Del Griffith was told in the movie "Plane, Trains and Automobiles".  "It helps to have a point.  You're amazing.  Your stories are absolutely pointless."

 

I feel real sorry for flight attendants.  First of all they have to do the pantomine for the same speech, flight after flight.  Second, very few people are paying any attention to the recorded message they are dramatizing in English and French. 

 

It's hard to imagine anybody in Canada who does not already know how to... "insert the metal part into the clasp until it clicks and then adjust the belt until it is snug." 

 

"Should the cabin loose air pressure, air masks will drop from the compartment above your head.  Put on the one closest to you and pull it towards you to start the flow of air.  If you are sitting with children, put on your own mask first and then assist those with you who need help with their mask."

 

The first time I heard that Air Canada message as a parent it sounded selfish before it sounded sensible.

 

So here's the big point that John Maxwell makes from this reality;  "If you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of your kids."

 

I can still remember three powerful points that Brent Cantelon once made at the start of a talk to religious leaders in Banff:

 

1. Not every hill is worth dying on! 

2. If you don't take care of yourself, nobody else will!

3. If you don't take care of your spouse, somebody else will! 

 

If you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of anyone else.

 

"Your life is the fruit of your own doings.  You have no one to blame or thank but yourself."

Joseph Campbell

 

Take care of your life and you'll have a life with which you can take care of others.

 

"A day without doing something significant for other is a day not worth living."  Mother Theresa

 

 

MOTIVES FOR VOLUNTEERING

 

As you redesign you retirement to include volunteering as an important component of your life remember the conclusion made by Civic Ventures….

 

“SUCCESSFUL VOLUNTEERS PUT THEIR LIFE INTO SOMETHING THEY ARE PASSIONATE ABOUT.”

 

THE RETIREMENT CYCLE

 

Stage One:       I will just take it easy but I end up being bored and frustrated.

 

Stage Two:      I will volunteer in some cause and I end up busy but not satisfied.

 

Stage Three:  I will pour my life into something I am passionate about and I end up  

                        fulfilled.

 

MOTIVES FOR VOLUNTEERING

 

                                                     Extremely Important        Very Important

                                                     Motive For Me                  Motive for Me

1. Sense of satisfaction                        53%                                    78%

 

2. Have special qualities/skills               51%                                    73%

      

3. Make a difference                             48%                                   72%

 

4. Obligation to give back                     51%                                   71%

 

5. New Skills/new acquaintances         38%                                   62%

 

6. Something to do                               32%                                   49%

 

A life coach can help you factor your passion into your retirement redesign that includes volunteering.

 

For more insights like this one, get a copy of The New Retire Mentality by Mitch Anthony

HAPPINESS

By Coach Lorne

 

Happiness is wanting what you already have.

 

Happiness is personally insisting on "enough" in our world that persists with the message of "more".

 

If you are not happy now, new things won't make you so.  Happiness is deposited generously in the container of contentment. You have no idea the things you can do without until you try.  Another weekend of cutting lawn, pulling weeds, polishing a truck, fixing a motorboat, staining a deck reminded me that you don't own stuff, stuff owns you.  More stuff, newer stuff, better stuff, bigger stuff never on it's own adds up to happiness.  Happiness is wanting what you already have.

 

"Godliness with contentment is great gain,"  Saint Paul promises.

 

"Contentment comes not so much from great wealth as from few wants." Epictetus 

 

We spend money we don't have, to buy things we don't need, to impress people we don't like.  That's just nuts. 

 

The  true key to happiness is not found in keeping up with, or getting a leg up on, our neighbours when it comes to stuff.  It's not the person with the most stuff who wins in the game of life.  Bigger toy and tool boxes with more toys and tools are not the packages that happiness is wrapped in. Loaded tables and cluttered lawns at garage sales tell you that.  If we're exchanging our stuff for your money so we can get other stuff and hoping for happiness in the process that just isn't going to happen.  Happiness is wanting what you already have.   

 

The true key to happiness is not in getting new things.  If you cannot engage the emotions of contentment and happiness with your current realities, what makes you believe you will bump into them with your desired circumstances?  Your desired circumstances will only change your view.  You are as happy as you make up you mind to be.  You are happy when what you think and what you say and what you do are in sync.  You are happy when you want what you already have.

 

Happiness is wanting what you already have!

COACH PETE CARROLL’S THREE RULES FOR THE SEAHAWKS

By Coach Lorne McAlister

 

January 11, 2010 it was announced that NFL Seattle Seahawks owner Paul Allen had signed Pete Carroll to a five year head coach contract worth $33 million dollars.

Carroll is known for using an aggressive, non-conservative play-calling that is open to trick plays as well as “going for it” instead of punting the ball away. Because of his aggressive style Carroll has been given the nickname “Big Balls Pete”.

 

Carroll draws coaching inspiration form the 1974 book The Inner Game of Tennis by tennis coach W. Timothy Gallwey. He summarizes the philosophy he took from the book as: “It’s all about clearing the clutter in the interaction between your conscious and subconscious mind enabling superior practice, clean approach, focus, clarity and a belief in yourself which allows you to express your ability.”  

 

Carroll states: “We’re going to do things better than it’s ever been done before in everything we do, and we’re going to compete our ass off.   We’re going to see how far that takes us.” Pete is an energized, enthusiastic, eternal optimist who declares:  “I’m always think something goods just about to happen.”

 

PETE CARROLL’S THREE RULES FOR THE SEATTLE SEAHAWKS

 

1.  PROTECT YOUR TEAMMATE (on and off the field)

 

2. NO WHINING OR COMPLAINING

    (It’s a challenge, particularly for guys who have been used to doing things a certain   

     way.)

 

3. BE EARLY FOR EVERYTHING (as a sign of respect)

 

Carroll comments that:  “The beauty is that we all held each other accountable immediately.”

 

"High achievement always takes place in the context of high expectation."  Charles Kettering

 

HALLELUJAH

When Your Hands Aren’t Clean And Your Heart Is Not Pure

By Coach Lorne McAlister

 

HALLELUJAH

By Leonard Cohen

 

Now I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord,
But you don't really care for music, do ya?
It goes like this: the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift;
The baffled king composing Hallelujah!

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof.
You saw her bathing on the roof;
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya.
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, she cut your hair,
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah!

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

You say I took the Name in vain;
I don't even know the name.
But if I did, well, really, what's it to ya?
There's a blaze of light in every word;
It doesn't matter which you heard;
The holy, or the broken Hallelujah!

Baby I’ve been here before,

I’ve seen this room, I’ve walked this floor

I used to live alone before I knew ya.

But I saw your flag on the marble arch;

Our love is not a victory march,

It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah.

 

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

 

Maybe there’s a God above,

But all I’ve ever learned from love

Is how to shoot someone who outdrew ya,

But it’s not a cry that you hear at night

It’s not someone who seen the light

It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah.

 

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

 

I did my best; it wasn't much.
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch.
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool ya.
And even though it all went wrong,
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah!

 

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

 

Leonard Cohen started writing “Hallelujah” in 1979. By the time the song was released in 1984, he had written 80 different verses to draw from for the final version.
 

Cohen remarked that “hallelujah” is a Hebrew word meaning “Glory to the Lord.” Throughout the song Cohen demonstrates that there are many kinds of Hallelujahs in existence.  “It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah.” “The holy and the broken hallelujah.” 

 

Al Funk writes “Hallelujah is a song about people who have significant struggles with sin in their lives, especially sexual sin. David is mentioned. He committed adultery with Bathsheba. Samson is mentioned. He flirted with Delilah until she discovered the secret of his strength, she tied you to a kitchen chair, she broke your throne, she cut your hair…Somehow God brought them back to a place of usefulness to Him.”

 

Funk continues: “Our love is not a victory march. It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah. It seems like there is some kind of struggle going on which makes having a relationship with God hard, but there is still a desire to say hallelujah - to give praise to Him even if it comes from a place of brokenness.”

 

Does God accept broken hallelujahs?

 

Are there any other kind?

 

All of our hallelujahs are broken - to a greater or lesser degree.

 

When your hands aren’t clean and your heart’s not pure and all you’ve got is “a cold and a broken hallelujah”, then come before "the Lord of song with nothing on your tongue but Hallelujah".

 

 

THE POOR - WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?

By Coach Lorne

 

“A little consideration, a little thought, makes all the difference.” 
                                                                                       Winnie the Pooh

 

"Deep justice is about righting wrongs."     Jeremy Del Rio

 

“For the poor you have with you always, and whenever you wish you may do them good.”                                                      Jesus

 

In Deuteronomy 15, Moses emphasized the reality of poverty and how the more affluent must deal with it:

 

“After the LORD your God gives land to each of you, there may be poor Israelites in the town where you live. If there are, then don't be mean and selfish with your money.  Instead, be kind and lend them what they need.  Be careful! Don't say to yourself, " Soon it will be the seventh year, and then I won't be able to get my money back." It would be horrible for you to think that way and to be so selfish that you refuse to help the poor. They are your relatives, and if you don't help them, they may ask the LORD to decide whether you have done wrong. And he will say that you are guilty.  You should be happy to give the poor what they need, because then the LORD will make you successful in everything you do.

      There will always be some Israelites who are poor and needy. That's why I am commanding you to be generous with them.”  
                                                                          Deuteronomy 15:7 -11

 

Moses warned of four dangers:

1. A mean heart, ignoring the needs of the poor (v.7).

2. A selfish attitude, withholding what the poor lacked (v.7).

 

3. An stingy thought, hesitating or refusing to loan money to the poor  

    because the year of canceling debts was nearing (v.9).

 

4. A grudging spirit, a reluctance to satisfy the needs of the poor among them 
   (v.10).

 

Not only were they warned about selfishness, but more important, they were encouraged to be spontaneously generous (vv.8,10,11).

 

There must always be a spirit of generosity toward the poor. Let’s open our hearts and our hands.

 

“The blessing of the Lord makes rich.” When you buy into that then you can find easy reasons to and few objections not to give to the poor?

 

“My friends, what good is it to say you have faith, when you don't do anything to show that you really do have faith? Can that kind of faith save you? If you know someone who doesn't have any clothes or food, you shouldn't just say, "I hope all goes well for you. I hope you will be warm and have plenty to eat." What good is it to say this, unless you do something to help? Faith that doesn't lead us to do good deeds is all alone and dead!

Suppose someone disagrees and says, "It is possible to have faith without doing kind deeds."

   I would answer, "Prove that you have faith without doing kind deeds, and I will prove that I have faith by doing them."

Anyone who doesn't breathe is dead, and faith that doesn't do anything is just as dead!                                              James 2:14-18, 26

 

• Faith that is real acts!
  
• Faith that works is faith that gets to work! 

TED.COM is an impacting website to listen and learn from the “Ideas Worth Sharing.”  Ideals like this one:

“One third of the world is obese. One third of the world is hungry.”
                                                                                     A TED Talk

 

The answer to poverty is not complicate. It may be difficult, but it’s not complicated.

 

When it’s in your hand to give, for man’s sake, GIVE!

 
Here's three simple questions to anwer when giving:

 

1. What?

 

2. So what?

 

3. Now what?

 

When it come to giving, give without looking for recognition or reward. Just give.

 

When it comes to giving, give knowing that “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done!”

 

“When in doubt do the generous thing.”    Paul Cunningham.

 

"In the end there are only two possible attitude which Christians can adopt toward the world.  One is to escape and the other engagement."  

                                         John Stott

 

 

Here's the 10 Core values of Zappo Corporation.  Zappo works hard at reflecting these values in everything they do, in how they interact with each other, how they interact with their customers and how they interact with vendors and business partners.

 

1.  Deliver WOW Through Service

2.  Embrace and Drive Change

3.  Create Fun and a Little Weirdness

4.  Be Adventurous, Creative and Open-Minded

5.  Pursue Growth and Learning

6.  Build Open and Honest Relationships with Communication

7.  Do More with Less

8.  Build  a Positive Team and Family Spirit

9.  Be Passionate and Determined

10. Be Humble

 

At Zappo, if it's worth doing, it's worth doing with WOW. To WOW you must do something that is unconventional, innovative, above and beyond what's expected.

 

"Be humble: In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's mind there are few."  - Shunryu Suzuki

WHAT DO YOU KNOW FOR SURE?

Coach Lorne McAlister

 

What do you know for sure?

 

That’s the greeting I heard my oldest sibling Ruth pose when connecting with individuals. I’m not sure how much attention she paid to the answers, but she consistently asked the question. 

 

I love that question. 

 

I suspect that the weight we give to the “for sure” answers depends not so much on the wisdom being offered as the person offering the wisdom. Let the answer blast forth from a respected, trusted, successful, power broker and we’re all ears. Let the wisdom whisper out from the timid, the average, the ordinary, and their words fall to the floor before they reach our ears. We slap the “worthless” or the “worthy” label not so much on what we hear but on who we think we’re hearing it from.

 

It not only what’s being said, but who’s doing the “saiding” that determines how much weight we give to the wisdom.

 

There's a significant sentence in everyone we meet.

 

The loud mouth and the low talker deserve our ear.

 

“Words of the wise, spoken quietly, should be heard.” Solomon

 

Could there maybe, just maybe, be something well worth hearing from the quiet, the thoughtful, the person whose wearing the wrong clothes, living at the wrong address, working at the wrong job,  is from the wrong cultural group or  is in the wrong age grouping?

 

What do you know for sure?

 

Ellen and I are using Our Daily Bread for our breakfast devotional moment. June 22, 2010 used these two paragraphs from Ecclesiastes 9:13 -18.

 

 ¹³ This wisdom I have also seen under the sun, and it seemed great to me: ¹⁴ There was a little city with few men in it; and a great king came against it, besieged it, and built great snares around it. ¹⁵ Now there was found in it a poor wise man, and he by his wisdom delivered the city. Yet no one remembered that same poor man.

 ¹⁶ Then I said:

      “ Wisdom is better than strength.
      Nevertheless the poor man’s wisdom is despised,
      And his words are not heard.
       ¹⁷ Words of the wise, spoken quietly, should be heard
      Rather than the shout of a ruler of fools.
       ¹⁸ Wisdom is better than weapons of war;
      But one sinner destroys much good.”

“For some reason we seem to ignore or quickly forget the good that the poor and humble man accomplishes through his wisdom.” David Roper

 

We should never forget the wrinkled wisdom of the old sage Seneca who stated: "There is a noble manner of being poor, and who does not know it will never be rich." 

 

What do you know for sure?

"All knowledge is of itself of some value.  There is nothing so minute or inconsiderable that I would not rather know it than not."  Samuel Johnson 

 

Here’s four lifelines that have value inspite of the prosperity or poverty of the speaker:

 

• Wisdom is better than strength.
• Words of the wise, spoken quietly, should be heard.
• Wisdom is better than weapons of war.
• One sinner destroys much good.

 

Try asking your world the question: “What do you know for sure?”

Try paying close attention and noting the answer you get from everyone.

 

Add to your tool box what’s new and what's true from the “for sure” answers you collect.

 

We miss stuff not because it goes by too fast but because we go by to fast.

 

The planned and pondered life that pays attention - progresses.

DON’T JUST SIT THERE…DO SOMETHING.

 

By Coach Lorne McAlister

 

"The saddest words on tongue or pen

Are simple these

It might have been."

 

Faith that is real acts!

 

“Faith without works is dead.” Bible

 

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in the world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them.”    

                                                                  George Bernard Shaw

 

“You have to find something that you love enough to be able to take risks, jump over the hurdles, and break through the brick walls,  that are always going to be placed in front of you. If you don’t have that kind of feeling for what it is you’re doing, you’ll stop at the first giant hurtle."                                                                                   George Lucas

 

“I’ve learned one thing 'for sure' in the last four and a half decades: He/she who tries the most stuff wins.  Hence, there is nothing more important in business success than a try-it-culture.  

                                                                 Tom Peters

 

Re-read that Tom Peter’s quote.  Now read it again. 

 

"He/she who tries the most stuff wins."

 

"You will never know what you can do until you try." 

                                                                   English Proverb

 

"Nothing will be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome."                                                Samuel Johnson

 

"The greatest lesson of life is that you are responsible for your life."                                                          Oprah Winfrey.

 

It’s the start that stops most people.

 

Now don’t just sit there, do something!

 

Part of a normal week for me gets lived out on the south west shore of Lake Wabumun.  The cottage country where my cabin is located is called South Seba and not much has changed there since the days my father Clarence and my grandfather Sam Kendrick cleared the land and erected the cottage and boat house.

 

I was puttering away in the boat house this week when my attention shifted from the workbench to the window.  A bee was getting weaker and weaker trying to fly through the window.  Free the bee became my goal.  How do you do that without hurting the bee or getting hurt yourself?  It's like giving birth to a porcupine, how exactly do you do that?  An angry bee in attack mode was not what I wanted.  That bee bouncing against the window like a ping pong ball reminded me of a book title by JD Jakes "When Helping You Is Hurting Me."

 

I opened the window.  I tried my long handled Robertson Screw Driver.  Eventually it was the white metal lid from the pot we're never able to find a good use for that did the trick.  It took a couple of tries but eventually the bee was nudged towards the open window and with a gentle flip was free. It felt good to watch the bee fly free.

 

It was a bee trying to get through the screen on my home office window that reminded me of the boat house bee free adventure.

 

There's a long list of characters in the chapters of my South Seba story.  None eclipse Joe Lees our long neighbour.  Lots of stuff I learned for the first time watching and listening to Joe.  My parents were always concerned that I'd learn too much from Old Joe.  He knew how to use tools I'd never heard of.  He had ways of solving problems that were fun, risky and unforgetable.  One day he walked over and annonced:  "Lorne, I've come to borrow your jackal." 

 

That's a great line I've never forgotten.  It's positive and pointed.  It get's you what you need. "I've come to borrow your....."  When you had what Joe needed he never came over with "May I borrow your... or Would you mind if I used your...."  It was always "I've come to borrow your chainsaw."  That was the way Joe asked for stuff.

 

Joe taught me how to borrow.  My dad would do without or turn the task into a frustrating make work project.  He didn't like to borrow.  From Joe I learned that if you are going to do the job right you need the right tool for the job.  My long friend Ron Saul always reminds me that "Every job's got the price of a tool in it."  You end up with some nice stuff of your own when you quote that mantra while waltzing through the tool section of Home Depot.

 

If the job is small and quick, and the right tool for the task is in the neighbour's garage - don't buy - borrow it.

 

So here's the rules for beggers and borrowers

• Bring it back and put it back.
• If you break it, fix it.
• If you dirty it, clean it.
• If you dull it, sharpen it.
• If you empty it, fill it.
• If you scratch it, paint it.
• If you bend it, straigthen it.
• If you destroy it, replace it.

Don't buy it, borrow it. 

You'll get better acquainted with your neighbour when you do.  They might even show up to help with the project.  They'd like nothing better than another opportunity to use their tool on another task.

 

Just do so within this framework for beggers and borrowers.

 

WHEN HIRING CHECK OUT ATTITUDE, APTITUDE & ALTITUDE.

By Coach Lorne McAlister

 

I heard recently that a long friend, after several months of focused yet fruitless searching,  landed her dream job. Hard not to let a smile bounce around in your brain and sneak out onto your face when you hear great news like that.

 

Being a leader means you have followers. If you’re leading and no one’s following, you’re just going for a walk. Employers have employees. Bosses have worker. All this involves M.Y.T.O.P.

 

• M.Y.T.O.P. Multiply Yourself Through Other People!

 

• M.Y.T.O.P. is what leaders get-to and got-to do.

 

• M.Y.T.O.P mean’s you build your team and that means you hire.

 

When it come to the vital task of hiring, you’ll either do it right the first time or you might not get a chance to do it again.  Wrong hires are toxic and terminal for fragile companies.

The promise and the profit packaged in the right hire are never greater than the pain and the penalty of the wrong hire. This is one zone that’s worth doing right the first time and every time.

 

The best time to fire someone is before you hire them. How do you hire right?

 

“In short, hiring is the most important aspect of business; and yet remains woefully misunderstood.” Geoff Smart and Randy Street

 

“Development can help great people become even better; but if I had a dollar to spend, I’d spend…70 cent…getting the right person in the door.” Smart and Street declare.

 

“It takes 1 ½ times an employees salary to hire and train a new employee” states Donna Shannon. “To many times a good hiring process is put at risk by taking the eyes off the goal posts before the match ends.”   

 

THREE CHECK OUTS OF SUCCESSFUL HIRING

 

1. CHECK OUT ATTITUDE.

 

The only thing worse than B.O. - Body Odour is B.A. - Bad Attitude.

When it comes to attitude, if you can’t work with it, don’t hire it because you can’t change it.

Stinking thinking is toxic.

What get’s them pumped up - resonance?

What get’s them pooped out and ticked off - dissonance?

What are the values that squeeze the yeses and no’s out of them?

 

 

• CHECK OUT ATTITUDE.

            Develop some hiring tools to do this.

 

 

2. CHECK OUT APTITUDE

 

“You can’t fix stupid!” Marshall McAlister

You want  teachable, life-long learners on your team.

You want people who got it or can get it.

You’re looking for new hires who will persist and insist until they get it right.

Has arrogance put them in know-it-all prison?

Are they too insecure or too proud to let you see their growing edge; where their smarts end and stupid begins?

Can they learn?
Will they learn?

What is their track record when it comes to adding new skills to their tool box?

How successfully have they been at integrating and implementing new processes and skill sets?

Have they enough wisdom to hoist their sail into the current winds blowing in their world?

 

• CHECK OUT APTITUDE.

            Develop some hiring tools to do this.

 

3. CHECK OUT ALTITUDE

 

What is their starting out potential on your team?

Do you suspect they are going to be moving on or do believe they will move up within your organization?

When would “The Peter Principle” kick in and they would be promoted once too often, from competence to incompetence?

Is there enough flex in them to grow, to know, to go forward into the unknowable future?

It’s easy to predict the future. The problem is getting it right.

Will they crash into a wall or will they climb a ladder?

 

• CHECK OUT FOR ALTITUDE.

            Develop some hiring tools to do this

 

When hiring remember what mom used to say: “If you don’t have time to do it right the first time, where are you going to find the time to do it right the second time?”

FEED YOUR FAITH…FAST YOUR FEARS

By Coach Lorne McAlister

 

“I will trust and not be afraid.”  Isaiah 12:2

“Be not afraid, only believe.”    Mark 5:36

 

A loveable puppy and a darling baby dove came into a boy’s life the same day. He loved them both and was fascinated watching the dog and the dove play together. Often they ate and drank out of each other’s dish. 

 

Then one day the lad was momentarily paralyzed as he watched his pet dog try to eat his pet dove. 

 

Angry and pro-active, the boy repeatedly scolded the dog but without success. The dog kept trying to eat the dove. Nothing the boy did to stop the dog worked. Every chance the dog got, it lunged at the now nervous dove which exploded into flight.

 

On several occasions he tried giving the dog away to neighbours who lived farther and farther away but the dog always returned to it’s old home and proceeded to hunt and haunt the dove.

 

One day the boy, frustrated by failure, decided he would famish the dog and only feed the dove. It didn’t happen immediately but eventually the dog headed reluctantly for another home and the dove was finally safe.

 

You cannot get rid of your fears but you can feed your faith. Nourish your faith and fast your fears. The emotion you choose to feed is the emotion that will dominate your life. Strong faith can overpower stubborn fear.

 

“Think of your comfort zone as a prison you live in- a largely self-created prison. It consists of a collection of can’ts, musts, must nots and other unfounded beliefs formed from all the negative thoughts and decision you have accumulated and reinforced during your lifetime.” 

                                                                        Jack Canfield

 

Every fear is like a bar of the prison. 

 

You are what you read.

You are what you eat.

You are what you think.

 

Make some focused feeding and fasting decisions and some things will start to swell and some things will start to shrink.  Feed your faith. Fast your fears. 

Wherever there's a will, there's a way!

 

That line comes from the "old-gold-vault."  I'm standing in front of a washroom mirror in Calgary surveying the reality of what Lorne can look like at 3 PM  when this line sneaks into my mind.  What surprised me was how "still-true" it is.  Wherever there is a will, there is a way!

 

This determination principle comes to me via an old quartet ditty.

 

"When troubles pile up high like a mountain in the sky,

Don't just sit around feeling blue.

There's no need to cry, for by faith you can get by.

Nothing is impossible for you.

 

You can move that mountain.  You can move that mountain.

Don't wait for tomorrow, start today.

You can move that mountain.  You can move that mountain.

WHEREVER THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A WAY."

 

This world steps aside for the person who knows where they are going.

• Wherever there's a will there's a way!

When you know where you are going - your goal, and when you know why you are going there - your values, you are virtually unstoppable.

• Wherever there's a will there's a way!

"It's the constant and determined effort that breaks down all resistance and sweeps away all obstacles."  Claude M. Bristol

 

Wherever there's a will there's a way!

"Vitality shows not only in the ability to persist, but in the ability to start over."   F. Scott Fitzgerald

 

Wherever there's a will there's a way!

"Quitters never win.  Winners never quit!"

• Wherever there's a will, there's a way!

You cannot motivate others! You can only motivate yourself!

• Wherever there's a will, there's a way!

 

 

 

Here's some power points from Tom Peter's great new book THE LITTLE BIG THINGS - 163 WAYS TO PURSUE EXCELLENCE.

 

Excellence - always!

If Not Excellence, WHAT?

If Not Excellence Now, WHEN?

 

The pursuit of excellence is not a goal - it is the way we live, who we are, and how we do business.

 

Excellence can be obtained if you:

... care more than other think is wise;

... risk more thant others think is safe;

... dream more than others think is practical;

... expect more than others think is possible.

 

You achieve excellence by promising yourself right now that you'll never again knowingly do anything that's not Excellent - regardless of any pressure to do otherwise by any individual or situation.

 

Excellence is the best defense.

Excellence is the best offense.

Excellence is the answer to good times.

Excellence is the answer in tough times.

Excellence is about the big things.

Excellence is about the little things.

Excellence is a relationship.

Excellence is a philosophy.

Excellence is an aspiration.

Excellence is what keeps you awake.

Excellence is what lets you sleep well.

 

Excellence always!

If not excellence, what?

If not excellence now, when?

                    DIFFICULT, BUT NOT COMPLICATED

                                 By Coach Lorne McAlister

 

Financial adviser and New York Times best selling author Dave Ramsey has authored a very helpful book "The Total Money Makeover."  The theme is printed in the tag line of each page; "If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else." 

 

Chapter four is called Money Myths: The (Non) Secrets of the Rich.  Ramsey states: "The money myths are rooted in two basic problems.  First is risk denial, thinking total safety is possible and likely.  Second is easy wealth, or looking for the magic key to open the treasure chest."

 

My son, Marshall McAlister of Harrow Partners in Edmonton has told his high risk father on more than one occasion "Dad, nobody pays high interest rates on investments because they want to.  They pay high interest rates because they have to.  The higher the interest rate the higher the risk."

 

When it comes to risk tolerance you never know for sure where yours is until you start to lose some money or until you're no longer getting a good nights sleep.

 

There is no such thing as "risk free investing."  The first task of investors is not making money but working hard at not losing money.  The second task is to manage risk.  A competent financial adviser will help you smoke out your risk tolerance and then design an investment strategy that stays well within your risk comfort zone.

 

The second underlying problem is the quest for easy money.  Quick easy money is one of the oldest lies, or myths, in the book of the human race.  A shortcut, a microwave dinner, instant coffee, and lottery millionaires are things we wish would give us high quality, but they never do.  "If it's too good to be true it's not true."   Circus owner Barnum made his fortune on the fact that "there's a sucker born every day." 

 

One of Ramsey's pastors said "Living right is not complicated; but it may be difficult, but it is not complicated."  Living right financially, spiritually, socially,  is the same way - it is not complicated; it may be difficult, but it is not complicated.

 

Don't dance around this truth.  Illusion leads to disillusionment.  Don't do that to yourself.  Not knowing is not the answer. 

 

When it comes to life, do the tough stuff.  Do it first.  At least be that good to yourself. The sooner you do your own due diligence - the uncomplicated but difficult work - the sooner you will gift yourself with right information that will explode into correct action.

 

Life is not complicated.  It may be difficult, but it is not complicated.

 

Do the tough stuff and life gets easier.  Only do the easy stuff and life gets tougher.   

 

Here's a ten word reality rant to help you; "If it is to be it is up to me."

 

"To be successful you must decide what you want to accomplish, then resolve to pay the price to get it."  Bunker Hunt

 

Life is not complicated.  It may be difficult, but it is not complicated.

                                              ^{MY TWO SONS}

                                        By Coach Lorne McAlister

You can  easily compile  a fairly  long  list of My-Two-Sons stories from  the Bible.  It  starts with Adam's boys, Cain and Abel, who backed into a worship war and one boy ends up buried before it is over.    None is better known than the two anonymous sons and father story that Jesus tells and is often refered to as The Story of The Prodical Son.

 

"There was once a man who had two sons. The younger said to his father, 'Father, I want right now what's coming to me.'

"So the father divided the property between them. It wasn't long before the younger son packed his bags and left for a distant country. There, undisciplined and dissipated, he wasted everything he had. After he had gone through all his money, there was a bad famine all through that country and he began to hurt. He signed on with a citizen there who assigned him to his fields to slop the pigs. He was so hungry he would have eaten the corncobs in the pig slop, but no one would give him any. 

 

"That brought him to his senses. He said, 'All those farmhands working for my father sit down to three meals a day, and here I am starving to death. I'm going back to my father. I'll say to him, Father, I've sinned against God, I've sinned before you; I don't deserve to be called your son. Take me on as a hired hand.' He got right up and went home to his father.

When he was still a long way off, his father saw him. His heart pounding, he ran out, embraced him, and kissed him. The son started his speech: 'Father, I've sinned against God, I've sinned before you; I don't deserve to be called your son ever again.'

"But the father wasn't listening. He was calling to the servants, 'Quick. Bring a clean set of clothes and dress him. Put the family ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Then get a grain-fed heifer and roast it. We're going to feast! We're going to have a wonderful time! My son is here—given up for dead and now alive! Given up for lost and now found!' And they began to have a wonderful time."    Luke 15:11 - 24 (The Message)

 

The Anatomy of Peace is a must read book by the Arbinger Institute.  The guts of the book is that all of us do life from a heart that is at war or a heart that is at peace.  When our heart is at war we see other people as object that frustrate us, get us angry and are individuals who we can't trust or for sure can't live with.  When our hearts are at peace we see other people as worthy, valuable individuals who have chosen to do life differently than us but who are still significant and important to us.

 

In this Jesus story the father does life from a heart that is at peace.  The older brother does life from a heart that is at war.  The older brother does not attend the home coming party for the younger son.  The best he can come up with is an explosion of anger, frustration and bitterness targeted towards his younger brother who he calls "this son of yours." 

 

The peaceful heart of the father recognized that greed and wanderlust were gnawing at the young man - and that denying his request for an early inheritance would lead to bitterness.  So, despite personal and financial sacrifice, he gave the son his share.  Then, the father waited patiently while the prodigal learned his lesson.

 

No doubt that was a trying time - a good dad wants to protect his children from making mistakes.  But a wise man also knows that people often must discover hard truths for themselves.  Sometimes the most loving thing we do is to get out of their way.   This smart dad knew that this dumb son wouldn't change until the pain of the pig pen exceeded the phantom pain of facing his father and the for sure pain of an emotional encounter with the bitterness of his older brother.

 

Dads can only do this with their lads when their heart is at peace.  Brothers will always bully their siblings when their heart is at war. 

 

When I read in the April 21, 2010 Edmonton Journal  the latest chapter in the long and  painful  journey that  actors and grandpa Kirk Douglas and father Michael Douglas and his wife Catherine Zeta-Jones are on with their drug using and selling son Cameron Douglas, 32, I'm reminded of this dad's dialogue.

 

An observant father once blurted out to another dad of a lot-less-than-perfect son: "If he was  my son, I'd read him the riot act, I'd ground him for a month, cancel his cell phone, take away his car key." To which the father of the son in question stated;  "If he was your son that's exactly what I'd do too.  But he's not your son.  He's my son and that makes all the difference."

 

So here's my coaching question for you. 

What would stop you from treating others with dignity as worthy, valuable, honorable and respectable individuals?

 

You'll  have to start doing this before they change.

You'll have to change so they'll at least have an option to change.

It's unbelievable how my world changes when I change.

 

Even when you have to deal with individuals in a tough way and release them to their new future, work hard at doing it in such a way that,  as the team leader at  Action Electrical,  Blake Bunting said; "doing it right, keeping   their dignity in tact and then carefully, yet clearly, communicating the decision with the other members of your team."

 

I close by reminding you that if you think it's costly to do it right, from a heart that is at peace, then do it wrong,  from a heart that is at war, and start paying those bills.  They never stop!

 

 

 

HARD HEART AND HARD HEAD

By Coach Lorne McAlister

 

Insensitive and Stubborn

 

There are times when being hard headed is admirable and even essential.

 

Andy Andrews refers to this principle as “I will persist without exception.”

 

When it comes to catching what is being said, a hard heart is a bigger problem than being hard of hearing. Even God has trouble communicating to the hard hearted. 

 

“Therefore, as the Holy Spirit says; Today, if you will hear His voice do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion, in the day of trial in the wilderness…Do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.” Hebrews 3:7, 15

 

When something is said twice in the Bible it is bolded, underlined and serious.

 

ELEVEN SYMPTOMS OF A HARD HEART

 

1. Resistance to what God says
2. Refusal to put yourself under His authority
3. Disobedience to what you know God has instructed you to do
4. Justification of sinful conduct
5. Resistance to the reproof of others
6. Preoccupation with self (career, relationships, possessions)
7. Little interest in spiritual matters
8. Absence of private devotions (Bible reading , prayer, journaling)
9. Avoidance of public worship (gathering with faith community.)
10. Insensitivity to the real needs of others that will inconvenience you
11. Being FOR what you should be AGAINST and AGAINST what you should be FOR

 

Prayer is always a good place to begin the softening process for a hard heart.

 

‘Then I will give them a heart to know Me, that I am the LORD; and they shall be My people and I will be their God, for they shall return to Me with their whole heart.”              Jeremiah 24:7

 

 

GIVING UP

By Coach Lorne McAlister

 

“Do you want to find more meaning, fulfillment and abundance in your life? Trying giving. Also, try giving up.”  Azim Jamal and Harvey McKinnon.  That is how these co-authors begin the final chapter of their book “The Power of Giving.”

 

You have no idea the things you can do without until you try.

 

In life, every “yes” is hooked to a “no” and every “no” is married to a “yes”.  Life for everybody has these kinds of exchanges in it.

 

Saying a new or a bigger “yes” to giving also means saying a new or a bigger “no” to consumerism and selfishness.   That is why you have no idea the things you can do without until you try.  That is why givers know the power of a positive “no.”

 

Giving up is one of the big deals in the Bible.  

 

“Actually, I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally.  I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little.”  Philippians 4:11

 

“Godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.”  1 Timothy 6:6, 7.

 

“Don’t be obsessed with getting more material things.  Be relaxed; be content, with what you have.” Hebrews 13:5,

 

In our fast-paced society we can get into an activity trap.  Hurry, worry, bury becomes the descriptors and the agenda.  Giving up is a way of being freed up. Giving up activities frees up time.  Giving up wants frees up wealth.  Giving up nonessential items can lead to bigger and better giving.  I heard Pastor Percy Hinkelman once say “I live simply so that others can simply live.”   There’s a freedom in choosing simplicity that unlocks treasures, time and talent so they can be available as gifts to others. When you give up, simplify, reduce, eliminate you discover you has resources available for reallocation for your own good and for the good of others.

 

Here’s four grouping of things that can help you compose your “Giving up List”.

When you go through these four groups, pick two or three items in each group that may be a problem for you and that you choose to start saying “no” to.

 

Group 1.  Would your friends and acquaintances think you have a problem in these areas?

 

• Sloth
• Envy
• Anger
• Avarice - excessive or insatiable desire for wealth or gain.
• Greed
• Lust
• Gossip
• Hatred
• Fear

 

Group 2.  Would your friends and acquaintances think you have a problem in these areas?

 

• Drugs
• Alcohol
• Gambling
• Prescription drugs
• Smoking
• Gluttony
• Work-a-holism
• Fundamentalism
• Intolerance
• Prejudice

 

Group 3. Do you spend a lot of time watching, using, thinking about, or consuming these?

 

• TV
• Internet
• Sports events
• Shopping
• Motor vehicles
• Unhealthy food
• Recreation

 

Group 4.  Would you like to give up …

 

• Cultural and racial bias
• Pain - relationship hurt
• Legalism - being judgmental and critical
• Procrastination - putting off until tomorrow what you put off until today
• Littering and waste

 

It’s time to get going on give up.

Spend some energy on the particular areas you’ve check off.

Get serious and engage someone to hold you accountable for your intentions.

Imagine how great you are going to feel once you have these zones under control.

Remember, when it comes to change, it’s the start that stops most people.

Success is the progress you make towards your goals.

Your goals are your dreams with your dates attached to them.

Giving up is another zone your life coach will prove to be helpful and will improve your change percentages significantly.  When it come to giving up, don't do it alone, let me help you with it.

GIVING LIVING

By Coach Lorne McAlister

 

“The world of the generous gets larger and larger;

The world of the stingy gets smaller and smaller.

The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed;

Those who help others are helped.”

                                                        Proverbs 11:24, 25 The Message

 

“A bell is not a bell until you ring it.

As song is not a song until you sing it.

Love in your heart wasn’t meant there to stay

Love isn’t love until you give it away.”

 

“He that gives to the poor shall not lack.”  Proverbs 28:27

 

Rumi, a thirteenth-century Persian mystic, told of a man who walked past a beggar and asked, “Why, God, do you not do something for these people?”

God replied, “I did do something. I made you.”

 

Mahatma Gandhi once said, “There is always enough for the needy but never enough for the greedy.”

 

“When all is said and done,” says author Og Mandino, “success without happiness is the worst kind of failure.”

 

Earl Nightingale tells the story of a man who went to his empty fireplace and said, “Give me heat and I’ll give you wood.” 

Nobody get's that deal.  Give and you'll get.  Sow and you'll reap.  Bless and you'll be blessed.

 

I’VE BEEN GIVEN A LOT OF GIFTS RECENTLY.

Ø      The other day a driver let me cut in front of him and didn’t flash the bird.

Ø      I just finished reading a great book and recorded several significant sentences from it.  

Ø      I heard a speech in January that moved me to choose to become a better person.  

Ø      I wiped away tears as the credits rolled at the end of the movie “The Blind Side”.  

Ø      The teller at Walmart smiled and thanked me for remembering the code for the buns.  

Ø      Sunday a mother let me pick up and dance with her son during worship at church.

Ø      I overbooked and a faith friend is going to cover for me.

Ø      I did something at work and someone went out of their way to notice and thank me.

Ø      The bed gets made, the house cleaned, the meals cooked, the shorts and socks are washed, the shirts ironed. It’s endless the list of life gifts that I get from my wife Ellen.

Ø      I shadowed my trainer, I talked to my office support team and now I’m better prepared to do my job.

 

I’m still touched by the pounding truth of this lyric that Bryan Adams and Nelly Furtado belted out in the opening ceremonies of the Vancouver Olympics.

 

“Bang the drum louder

So the whole world can hear

So the whole world can hear

Sing the song longer

So the whole world can hear

So the whole world can hear.”

 

 

The Red Cross permanently got me with their tag line, “Blood, it’s in you to give.”

 

Paul Cunningham challenged me with this principle “When in doubt do the generous thing.”  When it come to giving you can’t always be sure of about the who, what, when, why and how much.   You rarely regret being generous.  For me it’s easier to live with being ripped off than being stingy.

 

John Churton Collins wrote; “In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends.”   

 

It’s in you to give.  You have something you can gift to others, right now.  

 

              “If you want more happy than your heart can hold….

                     Take whatever you’ve got and give it away.”

 

 Nothing makes this a better world than the gifts that are given to it by its citizens.  “A rich life,” writes philosopher and theologian Cornel West, “consists fundamentally of serving other, trying to leave the world a little better than you found it.”

 

Every one of us can have a rich life but we have to choose it.  Choose Giving Living!

 

SIX QUESTIONS FROM THE COACH’S CORNER.

1. When you give, how do you feel?
2. Do you feel energized, happy and fulfilled?
3. Do you feel deprived, shortchanged, and less well off?
4. Are your past experiences of giving glad, sad, mad or bad?
5. What has been your best experience of giving and what did you learn?
6. What has been your worst experience of giving and what did you learn?

 "If comfort is your goal then success and significance is not in your future" observes financial advisor, Marshall McAlister - Harrow Partners.

 

25 QUOTES FROM ANDY ANDREWS
BEST SELLING AUTHOR AND SPEAKER

 

"My life - my personality, my habits, even my speech - is a combination of the books I choose to read, the people I choose to listen to, and the thoughts I choose to tolerate in my mind.”
 — Andy Andrews

 

“I am responsible for my life.  Responsibility has to do with hope and control.  There is no power in blaming. The goal is to fix the life not fix the blame and that takes personal responsibility.”

 — Andy Andrews  (The Seven Decisions)

 

"Successful people make their decisions quickly and change their minds slowly. Failures make their decisions slowly and change their minds quickly.”
 — Andy Andrews (The Traveler's Gift)

 

"When faced with a decision, many people say they are waiting for God. But I understand, in most cases, God is waiting for me”
 — Andy Andrews

 

"One way to define wisdom is the ability to see, into the future, the consequences of your choices in the present. That ability can give you a completely different perspective on what the future might look like.”
 — Andy Andrews (The Noticer)

 

"Most people fail at whatever they attempt because of an undecided heart. Should I? Should I not? Go forward? Go back? Success requires the emotional balance of a committed heart. When confronted with a challenge, the committed heart will search for a solution. The undecided heart searches for an escape.
A committed heart does not wait for conditions to be exactly right. Why? Because conditions are never exactly right. Indecision limits the Almighty and His ability to perform miracles in your life. He has put the vision in you -- proceed. To wait, to wonder, to doubt, to be indecisive is to disobey God.”
 — Andy Andrews  (The Traveler’s Gift)

 

“Two things you can do that will make a huge impact on you and your world.  Smile while you talk. Brighten up when people walk into your world.  If I treated my wife as good as the dog treats my wife, maybe my wife would treat me as good as she treats the dog.”

 — Andy Andrews  (The Seven Decisions)

 

"Circumstances do not push or pull. They are daily lessons to be studied and gleaned for new knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge and wisdom that is applied will bring about a brighter tomorrow. A person who is depressed is spending too much time thinking about the way things are now and not enough time thinking about how he wants things to be.”
 — Andy Andrews

 

"Remember, whatever you focus upon, increases...When you focus on the things you need, you'll find those needs increasing. If you concentrate your thoughts on what you don't have, you will soon be concentrating on other things that you had forgotten you don't have-and feel worse! If you set your mind on loss, you are more likely to lose...But a grateful perspective brings happiness and abundance into a person's life.”
 — Andy Andrews (The Noticer)

 

"Everybody wants to be on the mountaintop, but if you'll remember, mountaintops are rocky and cold. There is no growth on the top of a mountain. Sure, the view is great, but what's a view for? A view just gives us a glimpse of our next destination-our next target. But to hit that target, we must come off the mountain, go through the valley, and begin to climb the next slope. It is in the valley that we slog through the lush grass and rich soil, learning and becoming what enables us to summit life's next peak.”
 — Andy Andrews (The Noticer)

 

"Well, that's why smart people get tripped up with worry and fear. Worry...fear...is just a misuse of the creative imagination that has been placed in each of us. Because we are smart and creative, we imagine all the things that could happen, that might happen, that will happen if this or that happens. See what I mean?"
 — Andy Andrews (The Noticer)

 

"Despite popular belief to the contrary, there is absolutely no power in intention. The seagull may intend to fly away, may decide to do so, may talk with the other seagulls about how wonderful it is to fly, but until the seagull flaps his wings and takes to the air, he is still on the dock. There’s no difference between that gull and all the others. Likewise, there is no difference in the person who intends to do things differently and the one who never thinks about it in the first place. Have you ever considered how often we judge ourselves by our intentions while we judge others by their actions? Yet intention without action is an insult to those who expect the best from you.”
 — Andy Andrews (The Noticer)

 

"If one makes a mistake, then an apology is usually sufficient to get things back on an even keel. However-and this is a big ‘however’- most people do not ever know why their apology did not seem to have any effect. It is simply that they did not make a mistake; they made a choice…and never understood the difference between the two."
 — Andy Andrews (The Noticer)

 

"It’s obvious our kids are school-smart and good teachers will do that for them-but wisdom is something altogether different. Wisdom can be gathered in your downtime. Wisdom that can change the very course of your life will come from the people you are around, the books you read, and the things you listen to or watch on radio or television."
 — Andy Andrews (The Noticer)

 

"See, the ‘small stuff’ is what makes up the larger picture of our lives. Many people are like you, young man. But their perspective is distorted. They ignore ‘small stuff,’ claiming to have an eye on the bigger picture, never understanding that the bigger picture is composed of nothing more than-are you ready?- ‘small stuff’.”
 — Andy Andrews (The Noticer)

 

"Most people think it takes a long time to change. It doesn’t. Change is immediate! Instantaneous! It may take a long time to decide to change…but change happens in a heartbeat!”
 — Andy Andrews (The Noticer)

 

"Remember, young man, experience is not the best teacher. Other people's experience is the best teacher. By reading about the lives of great people, you can unlock the secrets to what made them great.”
 — Andy Andrews (The Noticer)

 

"Your time on this earth is a gift to be used wisely. Don't squander your words or your thoughts. Consider that even the simplest actions you take for your lives matter beyond measure...and they matter forever.”
 — Andy Andrews (The Noticer)

 

"While it is true that most people never see or understand the difference they make, or sometimes only imagine their actions having a tiny effect, every single action a person takes has far-reaching consequences.”
 — Andy Andrews (The Noticer)

 

"Perserver without exception!”
 — Andy Andrews (The Seven Decisions)

 

“I have made choices that have lead me to a place I don’t like.  I can make choices that will lead me right down a path to a place that I do like.”

 — Andy Andrews  (The Seven Decisions)

 

“A true friend is someone who holds you accountable to a higher standard. A true friend expects you to do what you said you were going to do, when you said you were going to do it.”
 — Andy Andrews  (The Seven Decisions)

 

“The seeds of depression have a tough time taking root in a grateful heart.” 
  —    Andy Andrews (The Seven Decisions)

 

“In desperate times, much more than anything else, folks need perspective. For perspective brings calm. Calm leads to clear thinking. Clear thinking yields new ideas. And ideas produce the bloom...of an answer. Keep your head and heart clear. Perspective can just as easily be lost as it can be found.”
— Andy Andrews (The Noticer)

 

“Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Forgiveness means more to the forgiver than to the person being forgiven.  Forgiveness is a decision and not an emotion.  Forgiveness is about us, trust is about them.  Forgiveness is about the past, trust is about the future.”

 — Andy Andrews (The Seven Decisions)

 

 

TERMINATION TIPS

By Coach Lorne McAlister

 

The best time to fire someone is before you hire them.

 

Termination is a process that is not for the faint of heart and certainly not a task you want to assign to an amateur. The termination process demands careful thought, a clear rationale and well managed emotions. Legal counsel before you begin will be much less expensive than the bulging bill you will get to pay when you don't do it the right way, for the right reasons, at the right time and with the right end result for the individual who is leaving, for the team who is staying and for the company that will be carrying on.

 

So when it’s time to pull your company over to the curb in order to let someone off the bus here’s some advice.

 

Start by going to The Human Resources and Skill Development in Canada’s website www.labour.gc.ca and take a careful read of the 2005 document Termination of Employment.

 

Howard Levitt is counsel to Lang Michener LLP, practices employment law in eight provinces and is the author of “The Law of Dismissal for Human Resources Professionals”. Levitt’s February 27, 2010 article “Terminating Staff Should Be Left to the Professions” was published in the Calgary Herald. Here are his simple rules for proper dismissal.

 

ENSURE PRIVACY:

Terminating an employee or marching them off the premises in full view of their colleagues can be costly. Courts impose penalties on those who emulate Donald Trump’s TV persona. Ensure a dismissal is conducted when it is less likely to be witnessed by colleagues.

 

TIMING IS KEY:

Avoid terminating employees during important events in their lives or periods of personal turmoil. Unless there is a serious misconduct and immediate extrication is necessary terminating someone on the eve of their nuptials, or before Christmas, on their birthday or following an illness increased liability. 

Avoid Friday afternoon, when it is more difficult to get in touch with lawyers, counselors, doctors, social service, potential employers and outplacement services.

 

Also the meeting should be the first the employee hears of the dismissal. Gossip can be expensive. Don’t poll the employee’s peers first.

 

DON’T BE SWAYED:

Employers should attend the termination meeting with a precise and short script, from which they do not deviate. There is no reason for the meeting to last longer than 10 minutes. 

 

Employees may plea, debate or become hostile. Do not be baited into arguments or acrimony. Unless you are prepared to reconsider (in which case you were not ready for this meeting), such discussions can damage your position. If you are not alleging cause, offer a reference letter and provide a letter delineating the severance package.

 

Although unpleasant some terminations are necessary. Mistakes that add to the court award are not.

SKILLED COMMUNICATION MEANS BEING AN ASSERTIVE SPEAKER AND

AN ACTIVE LISTENER

By Coach Lorne McAlister

 

“Be swift to hear, slow to speak and slow to getting angry.” The Bible

That’s a tough-talking and a large-listening pill to swallow.

 

“If you ignore what is true, it never leads to someplace good.” Andy Stanley

 

“You are better off knowing the truth than not knowing it. The facts are your friend.” Jack Canfield.

 

“It takes two to speak the truth…one to speak and another to hear.”   Prepare Enrich

 

ASSERTIVE SPEAKING

Assertiveness speaking is the ability to express your feelings and ask what you want in the relationship. In successful relationships both individuals tend to be quite assertive. Rather than assuming their partner can read their minds, they share how they feel and ask clearly and directly for what they want.

 

Assertive individuals take responsibility for their messages by using “I” statements. They avoid statements beginning with “you.” In making constructive requests, they are positive and respectful in their communication. They use polite phrases such as “please” and “thank you.”

 

“Be candid with everybody.” Jack Welch

 

 

ACTIVE LISTENING

Active listening is the ability to let your partner know you understand them by restating their message.

 

Good communication depends on you carefully listening to another person. Active listening involves listening attentively without interruption and then restating what was heard.  Acknowledge content and the feelings of the speaker. The active listening process lets the sender know whether or not the message they sent was clearly understood by having the listener restate what they heard. Active listeners listen with their ears and their eyes.

 

When each person knows what the other person feels and wants (assertiveness speaking) and when each knows they have been heard and understood (active listening), intimacy is increased. 

 

It takes courage to be an assertive and active listener. Sir Winston Churchill once said: “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak up. Courage is what it takes to sit down and listen.” 

 

The goal in communications is always to understand and to be understood.

“It is a luxury to be understood.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Assertive speakers have the ability to express their feelings and ask for what they want in the relationship.

Active listeners have the ability to let their partner know they understand them by restating their partner’s message.

 

• Give full attention to your partner when talking. Turn off the phone, shut off the television, turn away from the computer, put away the Blackberry and make eye contact.

 

• Focus on the good qualities in each other and often praise each other

 

• Be an assertive listener.  Share your thoughts, feelings and needs. Speak to be understood.

 

• Be an active listener. Repeat what you hear. Listen to understand.

 

“Communication is like playing catch. Catching is as much a skill as throwing, though it is a skill of a different kind.” Mortimer Adler

 

• Self manage criticism.

 

• Balance correcting comments with complimenting comments.

 

All blame is a waste of time. The goal is to fix the problem not to fix the blame. Regardless of how much you blame to other person, it will not change you.

 

• When you’re stuck get help from a life coach.  The goal is to get rid of the headache not the head.

 

• Skilled communicators live the truth about acceptance, anger and forgiveness that is express in these three statements.

 

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference” Reinhold Niebuhr

 

“Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way - that is not easy.” Aristotle

 

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”  Mahatma Gandhi

 

                                    AMISH  ELEVATOR

A fifteen year old Amish  boy and his father were in a mall. They were
amazed by almost  everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that  could move apart and then slide back together  again.
      
The boy asked, "What is this  Father?"

The father (never having seen  an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in  my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to  watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to  light in the reverse order.

Finally  the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond
stepped  out.

The father, not taking his eyes  off the young woman, said quietly to his  son....."Go get your Mother." 

When Communicating Pay Attention to "What" and "How"

                         By Coach Lorne McAlister

 

I'm reading again The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni.  He starts off with this powerful statement about team: "If you could get all people in an organization rowing in the same direction, you could dominate any industry, in any market, against any competition, at any time." 

 

In case you're interested here's the five dysfunctions.

1. Absence of Trust

2. Fear of Conflict

3. Lack of Commitment

4. Avoidance of accountability

5. Inattention to results

 

Go to "Notes and Slides" area of my website and you can download a power point presentation I developed of "The Five Dysfunction of a Team".  You'll find it a helpful tool to use when working with your team and helping it transition from dysfunctional to functional. 

 

Here's three paragraphs from the people at Crucial Conversations that I think have a communication insight the belongs in the toolbox of every skilled leader.

 

In order to deal with conflicts well (particularly when the content is both delicate and important), the most effective communicators participate in conversations on two levels.

 

· The content. First, they focus on the "what" of a conversation—they do their best to ensure that their thoughts and feelings make it into the pool of meaning. When it comes to content, their goal is to candidly share what they think.

· The conditions. Second, they watch for the "how" of the conversation—especially for signs of trouble. They know that the condition that limits candor the most is a lack of safety. So when danger signs appear, they step out of the content, rebuild safety, and then step back into the content.

 

Listen with your ears!

Listen with your eyes! 

When you hear it or see it, call it out.

What did you mean when you said that?

What did you mean when you did that?

The answer will help you know wheither to carry on or stop and rebuild safety.

When communicating and leading, pay attention to what is said and how it is said.

 

Write and Right Your Future

By Coach Lorne

 

Are you ready to write and right your future?

 

“Same-old, same-old.” “Not much.” “Hanging in there.”

 

That doesn't have to be your answer to the questions like, “so, what’s up?” What’s new and exciting in your world?”  “How’s it going?”

 

“When we develop an inflexible mind-set, we stay stuck with what we’ve got.” Richard Brodie

 

Are you ready to write and right your future?

 

The 5% club is open for new members.  That’s the number you have to use when talking about people, just like you, who have painted with words on paper the picture of their preferred future. You can join the 5% club but not until you write and right your future.

 

Make your written future detail specific and date sensitive. Write yourself clear. Write until you get it right.

 

"Whatever you think, be sure it is what you think; whatever you want, be sure that it is what you want; whatever you feel, be sure that it is what you feel."    T.S. Eliot

 

This is what it looks like!  This is when it’s going to happen!

 

                          A goal is a dream with a date.

 

“Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.” Will Rogers.

You can't change it but you do have choices about the past.

  

If you find yourself regretting or resenting the past, or dwelling on it; is that the best choice as to how to be expending your energy right now?  How about taking the point of view that you made the best choices you could make at the time, and turning your attention to the gift in the present and the great potentials in your preferred future?

 

“Doubt focuses on the unexplainable and misses the undeniable.”  Andy Stanley

 

Doubt focuses on the unchangeable and misses the adjustable.

 

“Believe” - that’s the word Canadians are using to ramp up their hopes and expectations of Canada’s athlete’s  for the 2010 Winter Olympics happening in Vancouver, BC.   

 

Believe is a great word for a new you reaching out for your newer and truer future.

 

Ø      Believe - Write and right your future.

 

Ø      Believe - Hope of what can be.

 

Ø      Believe - Work at what must be.

 

"If you want to accomplish anything in life, you can't just sit back and hope it will happen.  You've got to make it happen."                Chuck Norris

 

There's not better time than right now to write and right your future! 

If you don't do it now, there's a 96% chance you won't do it
ever!

The hurt in Haiti has squeezed the giving heart of humanity.  When the country collapsed the world showed up.  The Haiti story is the story of the hurt and the help. As I got ready to do my part and announced from my home office what we would be giving, my wife hollowered from the bedroom - "don't be so cheap."

 

Money is tool your use to help and bless or a trap you get caught in that hurts and hinders.

 

Jesus talked more about money than love. There's a nerve that runs straight from the wallet to the heart.  Jesus made the initially shocking but ultimatly sensible statment that  "It is more blessed to give than it is to receive."

 

"Command those who are rich in this present age to do good... that they be rich in good works, ready to give, willing to share. " 1 Timothy 6:17-18 

 

Andrew Carnegie took his first job in 1848 at age thirteen as a bobbin-boy in a cotton mill; twelve hours-per-day, six days-per-week, $1.25 per week in wages.  By the time he died in 1919, Carnegie had given away nearly $351 million dollars and bequeath his remaining $30 million through his will.  He is best known for building libraries in cities around the world.  He wrote at age thirty-three, "No idol is more debasing than the worship of money!  The man who dies rich, dies disgraced."

 

There's some wisdom in the bumper stick on the R.V that moms and dads are hauling somewhere that states "we're spending our kids inheritance."

Inherited money is some of the hardest money to manage.  It dries up your drive.  It cancels your creativity.  It holds hostage your passions.  When the need-to is gone then the want-to goes also.  Give someone a fist full of money and they end up shouting about their rights and shirking their responsibilities.  They somehow become lazy good-for-nothings rather than passionate good-for-somethings.

 

Money is a terrific tool to use but a tragic trap to be caught in.  The only way to avoid the money trap is to strategically and sensibly give it away.

 

Golda Meir reminds us: "you can't shake hand with a clenched fist." 

 

Money.....

• Spend it rationally!
• Save it regularily!
• Share it generously!

Vow never to hold money so tightly you can never give any away.

  

 

 

Money - Giving Living

By Coach Lorne McAlister

 

“By the time I’d made it, I’d had it.”

 

I’m a sucker for slogans. I saw that one on a plate in a store in Jasper in January. It reminds me of John D. Rockefeller’s end-of-life comment...“I spent my health to gain my wealth. I spent my wealth to gain my health.”

 

We’re back doing devotions again with Dr. David Jeremiah’s Turning Point Magazine and Devotional publication. January’s theme is money and they are offering supporters a gift copy of New York Times best-selling author, David Ramsey’s book, The Money Answer Book. 1-800-947-1993 will get you the giving and getting details you’ll need to snag a copy of the book and to receive this insightful daily devotional tool.

 

Humorist Vic Oliver said, “If a man runs after money, he’s money-mad. If he keeps it, he’s a capitalist. If he spends it, he’s a playboy. If he doesn’t get it, he’s a ne’er-do-well. If he doesn’t try to get it, he lacks ambition. If he gets it without working for it, he’s a parasite, and if he accumulates it after a lifetime of hard work, people call him a fool who never got anything out of life!”

 

Rick Mercer’s rant underscores the reality that Canadians aren’t primarily concerned about parliament being prorogued. We are bothered and burdened with our credit card debt and the 20% loan shark-like interest that Visa and Master Card add to the unpaid balance.

 

I'm going on “a pay-as-you-go” policy just as soon as I pay off my “pay-as-I-went” debt.

 

This world has an angle for every buck we can earn, beg, borrow or steal.

 

Here’s a way to manage credit cards that is slightly shy of cutting them up. Freeze them into a block of ice. A milk carton would work great for this task. You won’t be able to quick thaw them out in the microwave. I’m told that that would destroy their functionality. This is one rather radical way to buy yourself some time to give serious consideration to the pressure of plastic purchases.

 

You have no idea the things you can do without until you try. Godliness with contentment is great gain. God’s Word for worriers is found in places like Luke 12:22 - 34 and includes priority principles like “Seek the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added to you.”  

 

“If a person gets his attitude toward money straight, it will help straighten out almost every other area in his life.” Billy Graham

 

Nothing neutralizes the addiction of hoarding and the agony of greed like the ecstasy of giving. Warren Wiersbe reminds us “the mind grows by taking in, but the heart grows by giving out; and it is important to maintain a balanced life.”

 

“When it comes to giving some people will stop at nothing.” Jimmy Carter

Manage your money or your money will manage you. 

Manage your money and you will have money you can manage.

Manage your money and you will have money you can minister with.

 

If “getting-living” has got you down, let “giving-living” lift you up.  

 

“If you want more happy than your heart can hold...

Take whatever you have and give it away.”   Gaither Vocal Band

 

BEFORE YOU...

Before you speak, listen.

Before you write, think.

Before you spend, earn.

Before you invest, investigate.

Before you criticize, wait.

Before you pray, forgive.

Before you quit, try.

Before you work, plan.

Before you fight, talk.

Before you retire, save.

Before you die, give.

 

MAKING A DECISION?

 

WANT SOME HELP?

 

MAKE THIS DECISION WITH THE HELP OF YOUR LIFE COACH.

 

I'M COACH LORNE AND I CAN HELP YOU WITH THE DECISION MAKING PROCESS.

 

780 991-6975

 

lorne@coachlorne.ca

 

If you're like a lot of folk, you have a long mental list of things you're "gonna do, someday".  Here's seven steps you need to take when pushing the start button.  Remember, it's the start that stops most folk. 

 

STEP ONE:  Write down what the objective is you are going to reach.

 

STEP TWO:  Put a date on it.  "A goal is a dream with a date attached to it."

 

STEP THREE:  List the obstacles you have to overcome to make your objective happen.

 

STEP FOUR:  Identify the people, the groups, the organizations you need to work with and you need input from.  "It takes teamwork to make a dream work."

 

STEP FIVE:  Put your plan of action in writing and watch the movie you've just scripted.

 

STEP SIX: List what new information you need to get, facts you need to find.  "Not knowing is never your answer."

 

STEP SEVEN: Numerate all the benefits you will get from reaching your goal.  "What's in it for me?"

 

"People naturally tend toward inertia. That's why self-improvement is such a struggle and coaching is crucial."   Coach Lorne

 

Success is the progress you make towards the goals that are in sync with your values and passions.

WOULD YOU LIKE SOME HELP WITH YOUR GOAL SETTING  PROCESS FOR 2011?

 

TRY MAKING THEM AND WORKING ON THEM IN 2011 WITH HELP FROM YOUR LIFE COACH!

 

lorne@coachlorne.ca

 

780 991-6975

I Will Do More

By William Arthur Ward

 

I will do more than belong - I will participate.

I will do more than care - I will help.

I will do more than believe - I will practice.

I will do more than be fair - I will be kind.

I will do more than forgive - I will forget.

I will do more than dream - I will work.

I will do more than teach - I will inspire.

I will do more than earn - I will enrich.

I will do more than give - I will serve.

I will do more than live - I will grow.

I will do more than suffer - I will triumph.

 

"Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."  St. Francis

 

You have to do some living - the kind where the irresistible force of your will and effort crashes into the unmovable object of your reality -  before you are open to saying "Amen" with St. Francis. 

 

Remembrance Day 2009 found Ellen and I clapping generously, standing respectfully, honoring silently, hurting deeply with 10,000 other people in front of the cenotaph at the Legislative Buildings in Victoria, BC.  The boom of the twenty one gun salute echoed from the Inner Harbour in front of The Empress Hotel and punctuated the sixty minute ceremony.  Debbie Daliva, a B.C. mother who lost a son in Afghanistan placed the Silver Cross wreath.  The wave of her hurt washed up on all of our shores.

 

Take a moment and listen to the lyrics of "A Pittance of Time" on YouTube by Canadian songster Terry Kelly.  It's about remembering to remember.

 

On the way to lunch we walked into Munro's Books.  Noted Columnist Allan Fotheringham calls Munro's  "The most magnificent bookstore in Canada and possibly in North America."   

 

I found the Psychology and Self Help section, one of my favorite zones, and lifted from the shelf a copy of David Richo's book "Five Things We Cannot Change."  Since I know St. Francis' prayer I might as well also know when to pray it and what to pray about.

 

Here's Richo's  five things we cannot change.

 

1. Everything changes and ends.

2. Things do not always go according to plan.

3. Life is not always fair.

4. Pain is a part of life.

5. People are not loving and loyal all the time.

 

"Things turn our best for people who make the best of the way things turn out."  John Wooden

 

"So, Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."  St. Francis, St. Lorne, St. You.

 

 

Coach Lorne McAlister

 

 

Why wouldn't this be your goal.  If you are going to be a person, be a grand person.  If you are going to be a parent, be a grand parent.  If you are going to be a grandparent, be a grand grandparent.

 

The foundation for this to happen is to have what The Arbinger Institute refers to as "a heart at peace."  We do life from a heart that is at peace or a heart that is at war.  Our heart is at peace when we look out and see people as valuable, unique, worthy, honorable individuals.  Our heart is at war when we look out and see people as obstinate, ornery, objects or obstacles.

 

 Author James Allen states, "A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts." 

 

Grand people, parents and grandparents know that the goal is not to interpret but to inspire.  They don't just complain, they correct.  They refuse to lament, they lead.  They move from deploring to doing.  Grand people figure out ways to give others authentic, accurate,  affirmation.  They don't just think it, they actually spill the blessing beans.

 

Copy John Maxwell who uses this approach when encouraging and leading others.

 

• Value people
• Praise effort
• Reward performance 

Grand people know that a pat on the back is as valuable as a kick in the pants.

 

Coach Lorne McAlister

 

1. SEE YOURSELF CLEARLY

 

You'll never get where you're going until you know where you are.  It's called "Finding X, You Are Here".  Many people see all the bad and deny the good, or they see all the good and deny the bad.  To move forward you must see both.

 

2. ADMIT YOUR FLAWS HONESTLY

 

You need a coach who will be brutally honest with you.  You won't like that. You need a coach who will intrude. That word comes from the word rude.  You won't like that much either.  You need a coach who will hold your feet to the fire, who will hold you accountable.  You probable won't like that much too. Not knowing is not the answer.  The Bible teaches: "You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free."  Known truth frees you up to move forward.

 

3. DISCOVER YOUR STRENGTHS JOYFULLY

 

Your coach will help you realize what you are doing when your world is smiling at you.  Your gifts, your values, your character adds value in a special way.  To excel, do what you do well.

 

4. BUILD ON YOUR STRENGTHS PASSIONATELY

 

You have God-given abilities.  Your coach will help you discover then, develop them and deploy them.  Of course you can do this on your own, but your coach will cheer you on to excellence.  You just get there quicker, more passionately, when coached. 

 

Your coach will help you move forward.

 

Coach Lorne McAister

This morning, at 5:45, the Edmonton Journal was deposited, with a metalic thud, into our mailbox.  It was the return of a familiar and welcome sound. Our six month sabbatical from the Journal was now over.  The phone call from the sales department was all it took for the re-start button to get pushed. For the next six month, and for just $16.95 a month, my wife Ellen can get her daily dose of obituaries and we will get this almost unreadable bundle of information and advertisements delivered to our home and usually before 6:00 AM.  Sorry trees. I'll recycle.  

 

Saturday, November 7 Journal has two paragraphs with a keen insight below the title "Passive Work Means Less Activity Off The Job, Too."

 

"Do you have an unchallenging job with little control over what you do?  You may be more likely to be a couch potato in you leisure time, as new study shows.

 

'These characteristics of the job spill over into their non-working life', say Dr. David Gimeno of the University College London, one of the reseachers on the study."

 

This appears to be true. How you do anything is how you do everything!

 

So, next time you are tempted to cut corners, skimp, cheat, sluff off, schedule a lazy-hazy-crazy-day-of-summer but in November, and you're telling youself it's okay because this is the exception.  Stop fooling yourself.  Our ability to believe is unbelievable so be careful with your thinking. 

 

Sow an attitude, reap an act. 

Sow an act, reap a habit. 

Sow a habit reap a character. 

Sow a character reap a destiny.  

 

How you do anything is how you do everything! 

 

Get your behind off the couch. Get going. Get busy. Get dirty. Grab a tool.

 

The goal is not to be complimented and commended at your funeral for wearing out couches and lazyboy recliners. 

 

Diligent or delinquent at work and at home.  You pick.  It seems you're going to be that way at both places.  

 

"People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity." Andrew Carnegie

 

Just flashing the mirror.  If you don't like what you see don't break the mirror.

 

Coach Lorne

As you navigate around this website, each move changes the two Lifeline sentences on the page.  365 significant sentences have been banked for you on the site. 

 

Many of these sentences have been grouped together on the Notes and Slides area. 

 

I'm always open to adding new, punchy statements to the site. If you've said something or heard something that grabbed you then forward it to me and I'll consider posting it on the site.

 

I'm a public speaker.  One day my late friend, Don Stamps, challenged me with this truth. "Nobody remembers a speech.  People only remember a sentence.  Fill your speech with significant sentences."  

 

It's true.  That's why I am always underlining the books I'm reading.  That's why I creatively reuse other people's stuff.  I milk a lot of cows but I churn my own butter.

 

Check out the Notes and Slides page.  Your next memorable sentence is waiting there for you.

 

Coach Lorne

BELIEVE WHILE OTHERS ARE DOUBTING

By William Arthur Ward

 

Believe while others are doubting.

Plan while others are playing.

Study while others are sleeping.

Decide while others are delaying.

Prepare while others are daydreaming.

Begin while others are procrastinating.

Work while others are wishing.

Save while others are wasting.

Listen while others are talking.

Smile while others are frowning.

Commend while others are criticizing.

Persist while others are quitting.

• AUTHORITY - know yourself
• AUTHENTICITY - be true to yourself
• AUTONOMY - decide for yourself

1.

It will never work.

 

2.

We've never done it that way before.

 

3.

We're doing fine without it.

 

4.

We can't afford it.

 

5.

We're not ready for it.

 

6.

It's not our responsibility.  (It's not in my job description.)

Watch your thoughts; they become words.

Watch your words; they become actions.

Watch your actions; they become habits.

Watch your habits; they become character.

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

1.  What one decision would I make if I know I couldn't fail?

 

2. What is my most prevailing thought?

 

3. Am I on the path of something absolutely marvelous or absolutely mediocre?

 

4. What one thing should I eliminate from my life because it holds me back from a fuller expression of my potential?

 

5. What am I learning from the pattern of problems and pain in my life?

 

6. Am I running to something or from something.?

 

7. Who do I need to forgive?  What do I need to get over?

 

8. What would a truly creative and resourceful person do in my situation?

 

9. What good thing have I previously committeed myself to do that I have now quit doing?

 

10. What personal growth issues have been pointed out to me and what steps have I taken, and should I take, in response to the insights others have shared with me?

"Lord, help me to do great things as though they were little, since I do them with Your power.  Help me do little things as though they were great, since I do them in Your name.  AMEN."

 

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  Philippians 4:13

 

"Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."  1 Corinthians  10:31

 

"Expect great things from God; attempt great things for God."  William Carey

Here's an e-mail from Jenny McAlister about our grandson, Grayden.  He has not been participating that well in the gymnastic and swimming lessons his parents have paid for him to take.  That's enough backdrop to get this message.

"So, while Grayden was playing this morning, I was talking to a friend on the phone about how I had flushed money down the toilet by registering Grayden in Gymnastics and Swimming this fall.  Later, he asked me for some money so I gave him a quarter.  Then a while later, we were at Starbucks using the bathroom and he said "watch Mom"…then out from his pocket came the quarter and he threw it straight into the toilet and said “I’m gonna flush money down the toilet”. 

 He couldn’t understand why I wasn’t happy about this since I had just told my friend that this is what I had done!

 So, if anyone is short of a quarter, it is in the toilet in Starbucks….evidently, money doesn’t go down the toilet quite as easily as it is said!

 

   Loser - I fail and..                    Learner - I fail and...

1. Blame others                          1. Take responsibility
2. Repeat the same mistake     2. Learn from each mistake

3. Expect never to fail again      3. Change & try again

4. Label myself as a failure       4. Label of myself as a learner

5. Downsize my expectations   5. Smart size my expectation

6. Fear                                        6. Know no risk - no reward 

7. Quit                                         7. Know one way not to do it

 

"Your chosen response to failure is the one major difference between you being an average person or you being an achieving person."  Lorne McAlister

 

"I've learned that failure can often be as good a teacher as success."  Jack Welch

 

"Sometimes we win.  Sometimes we learn."  John Maxwell

 

"There is no doubt in my mind that there are many ways to be a winner, but there is really only one way to be a loser and that is to fail and not look beyond the failure."   Kyle Rote Jr.

 

"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."       Nelson Mandela 

Ecclesiastes 11:1-6 (The Message)

 

Be generous: Invest in acts of charity. Charity yields high returns. 

Don't hoard your goods; spread them around. Be a blessing to others. This could be your last night. 

When the clouds are full of water, it rains. When the wind blows down a tree, it lies where it falls. Don't sit there watching the wind. Do your own work.  Don't stare at the clouds. Get on with your life. 

Just as you'll never understand the mystery of life forming in a pregnant woman, so you'll never understand the mystery at work in all that God does. 

Go to work in the morning and stick to it until evening without watching the clock. You never know from moment to moment how your work will turn out in the end. 

Here's a link that will take you to Andy Andrews website.  Listen to Andy read chapter one of his book Sawyerton Springs to a live audience.  Pour yourself a cup of coffee and gift yourself with fifteen minutes of a funny story.

 

Here's the link. 

 

http://www.andyandrews.com/blog/like-to-laugh/

 

Andy Andrews has good stuff and this is just a sample of it.  I love his DVD on The Seven Principles. 

 

Coach Lorne

Helping You Move Forward and have some fun doing it.

 

“In every house of marriage there’s room for an interpreter.”
Stanley Kunitz

Your most important financial partner isn’t your broker. It’s your spouse; you know, the one who probably owns half of all you do and whose fate is inextricably linked with yours. But research shows that spouses often don’t agree on even such basic info as their income and savings. Wake-up call: To make smart decisions, you need to talk, and if you’re like most couples, to do a better job at it.

• Men: Don’t assume she doesn’t care about this stuff. She does. But you need to lay off the jargon and speak English.
• Women: Don’t just leave it all to him. At a minimum, know where the key papers are and how your money is invested. ˙
• Both: Focus on goals, not on being right. It’s not a contest.

Money stacks up under two columns: What I Own; What I Owe.  Be very careful what you do with OPM - Other People's Money.

"As life closes in on someone who has borrowed far too much money on the strength of far too little income, there are no fire escapes."   John Kenneth Galbraith

Face this truth: If you let them, lenders are only too willing to advance you more than is good for your family. Mortgage banks and credit-card issuers don’t care if your monthly payment makes it impossible for you to sock away money in your RRSP or fund your kid’s RESP plan. You need to set your own rules, including:

• No credit-card debt. Period. It’s never okay to pay 15% to borrow for consumption.
• Borrow only to buy assets that appreciate. A home, yes. Education, sure.

A vacation, a fancy dinner or even a 50-inch flat-screen TV? No way.

 

Here's the 10-10-80 Financial Plan I've followed.

 

                     Save 10%

                     Share 10%

                     Spend 80% with joy and thanksgiving. 

                        

This is always easy.   My world has an angle for every buck in my wallet.

 

Insanity is spending money we don't have, to buy things we don't need, to impress people we don't like.

 

Money is a wonderful servant but a cruel task master.  Insist on self-management when it comes to money. 

 

 

What's on your "I-Hate-Doing-This" list?  The older I get and the more discretionary cash I have to pay someone else to do things for me, the longer my "I-Hate-Doing-This" list is growing.

 

This week I shingled the roof of my cottage.  More accurate, I shingled half the roof.  I only roofed the half you see when you drive in or walk by.  The other half needs new shingles but you can't see them and I'm still able to tolerate the leaks in the living room.

 

I hate shingling.  If you've done any of what I call "once-in-a-while-roofing", you don't need me to list for you all the things I hate about it.  If you've never shingled, you wouldn't get it anyway.  Enough to say, I hate doing roofing. 

I hated doing the Redwater project with my friend, Glen, and I hated doing this summer cottage half roof job with my son, Marshall. 

 

I hate changing oil in my cars.  Winter's coming and my two vehicles are sitting in the garage waiting for their semi-annual lube and oil job.  You didn't think anybody did that any more.  Wrong.  Cheap guys with coveralls, oil pans and creepers still do it.  I hate it.  I hated it when I was 18 and I hate it now.

 

My raspberry patch needs end of the season pruning.  I hate doing it.  My potatoes need digging and hauling to the cold storage room.  I hate carrying them downstairs and the generous reaction I'm going to get about the horrible mess I made from the special lady we call "Glorious Ellen". 

 

Self managing is making yourself do what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, just because it needs to be done.   Attacking things on your "I-Hate-Doing-This" list is one of those necessary trials in life. 

 

I have to make a speech in a couple of weeks on a new, assigned topic.  I hate studying.  But do you know what I hate more than studying, it's standing up in front of people boring and bothering them because I hate studying and, therefore, I have nothing significant to say.

 

"Hard work pays off in the future.  Laziness pays of right now."

 

"The biggest battles are going on every day between our ears."  Les Hewitt

 

"Because of laziness the building decays, and through idleness of hands the house leaks."  Solomon

 

So you hate doing that - do it anyway. 

 

The primary goal of education is teaching us what needs to be done and motivating us to do it.

 

Need some help attacking your "I-Hate-Doing-This" list? Why not hook up with a life coach? I'm always ready to  help you move forward.

 

"Now Glorious Ellen, where did I hang my coveralls?"

 

 

 

 

Why in the world would a person like me need a life coach like you?

 

Great question and the brutal answer is, you don't!

 

You've reached some goals.  You like where you are doing life and who you are doing it with.  Your job pays your bills.  You're sort of secure.  You've got a few bucks stashed away.  You're as smart as you need to be.  You're as skilled as you're gonna be.  "I'm fine in the mine and I'm not going to resign" could be your rap, your rant, your chant. 

 

How's your life in Canada?  "Not bad!" 

That's about as pumped as most Canadians get.  "Not bad" which in Canada means "terrific".  We Canadians just never want to overstate anything. 

 

So, why in the world would a person like you need a life coach like me? 

 

If you keep doing what you're doing, you are going to keep getting what you are getting.  Why in the world would you want to mess with that?

 

• My life coach will cost me money.  That's right!
• My coach would force me to answer some raw, real questions.  That's right!
• My coach would hold me accountable to do something new, different, tough, significant and crucial for change.   That's right!
• My coach would pull my life dream to the surface.  That's right!
• My coach would burn the fog off my goals.  That's right!
• My coach would force me to face my potential, my possibilities.  That's right!
• My coach would help me see where I'm out of balance.  That's right!
• My coach would encourage me to make my tough decision.  That's right!
• I'd end up knowing what my life values are, my big reasons for being and doing my life, my way. That's right!
• My coach would .... awe forget it.

Why in the world would a person like me need a coach like you?

 

You don't, except you DO!

 

Coach Lorne

Helping You Move Forward

 

Which would you rather be -- number one or the best?

Jill Rigby, in her book Raising Unselfish Children in a Self-Absorbed World, relates what happens when she posed this question to a group of three hundred and fifty high school students in an inner-city school.

Enthusiastic voices filled with great conviction responded from across the room, "Number one, number one!"

"Number one, huh?" I replied. "I hope to convince you otherwise."

Much of what they heard from me that day ran counter to the messages they were receiving at home and in school. I talked about the difference between striving to be number one and striving to be the best. If you strive to be number one, you'll compete with others. If you strive to be the best, you'll only compete with yourself. If you strive to be number one, you'll give up when someone beats you. If you strive to be the best, you'll persevere until you reach your goal.

I talked about rectifying mistakes rather than concealing them. I talked about the need for significance being greater than the need for success. I encouraged having old-fashioned manners -- putting the needs of others before your own wants.

As you make your way through life, strive to be the best at everything you do. You will achieve greater heights and find greater fulfillment if you let go of the need to be number one and focus instead on being the best that you can be.

 

 

Mary Ann Charters

What can you control? What can you count on? 

 

I was continuing to enjoy the after burn of the spectacular supper of buffalo and salmon.  My new friends, Shayna and Drew, were now married.  I did the pre-marriage counselling and coaching and there's plenty of character, motivation, gifting, passion, compassion, maturity, flexibility, spirituality and compatability for them to make it all the way to the goal line together.

 

Shayna's speech was warm and sensitive.  It had the fluttering hand beside the face that ladies do when they are working hard at self-managing the waves of emotion that want to take over and mess up the make-up. 

 

Drew quickly got to his life verse, his bottom line from the Bible.  I had to hear it again, this time at his wedding reception in the banquet hall at the Banff Springs Hotel, before I really heard it for the first time.  It's in Genesis 8:22 and it states;

"While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, winter and summer, and day and night shall not cease."

 

Here's what's true for Drew - the Drew Deal.

This verse talks about 8 things.  Four things you can control.  Four things you can count on.

You can control sowing seeds, harvesting crops, closing windows, adjusting  thermostats.  You can count on the structure of the seasons and the gift and opportunity of each day. 

 

You can control what seeds you sow, how many you sow, where and when you sow them.  You can control what you are going to do with what those seeds become - the harvest.  You can control cold and hot.  You are not a thermometer getting hot and bothered when things heat up and getting frigid and rigid when things cool down.  You are a thermostat controlling the hot and cold zones.  Control it.

 

What you can't control you can count on.  You can do life because, contrary to what some people think, it's not going to be different this time.  It is going to be the same - winter, spring, summer, fall and morning, afternoon, evening.  Count on it.

 

Control what you can control.  Count on what you can count on.

 

That's the Drew Deal.

 

Thanks Drew and Shayna for the invite to your wedding.  Thanks for raising the ceremony and reception bar.  Thanks for listening when I talked.  But most of all, thanks for showing us all what authentic spirituality looks like at a wedding, for the words, the worship and for the Drew Deal.   I get it, too.  Control what you can control.  Count on what you can count on.

 

Remember, Shayna and Drew, in life what you work at works and what you stop working at stops working.  Marriages that get worked at and worked on - work.

 

Coach Lorne

 

Ecclesiastes 3 (New Century Version)

 ¹ There is a time for everything,
       and everything on earth has its special season.
 ² There is a time to be born
       and a time to die.
    There is a time to plant
       and a time to pull up plants.
 ³ There is a time to kill
       and a time to heal.
    There is a time to destroy
       and a time to build.
 ⁴ There is a time to cry
       and a time to laugh.
    There is a time to be sad
       and a time to dance.
 ⁵ There is a time to throw away stones
       and a time to gather them.
    There is a time to hug
       and a time not to hug.
 ⁶ There is a time to look for something
       and a time to stop looking for it.
    There is a time to keep things
       and a time to throw things away.
 ⁷ There is a time to tear apart
       and a time to sew together.
    There is a time to be silent
       and a time to speak.
 ⁸ There is a time to love
       and a time to hate.
    There is a time for war
       and a time for peace.

 ⁹ Do people really gain anything from their work?¹⁰ I saw the hard work God has given people to do.¹¹ God has given them a desire to know the future. He does everything just right and on time, but people can never completely understand what he is doing.¹² So I realize that the best thing for them is to be happy and enjoy themselves as long as they live.¹³ God wants all people to eat and drink and be happy in their work, which are gifts from God.¹⁴ I know that everything God does will continue forever. People cannot add anything to what God has done, and they cannot take anything away from it. God does it this way to make people respect him.
 ¹⁵ What happens now has happened in the past,
       and what will happen in the future has happened before.
       God makes the same things happen again and again.... 

 ²² So I saw that the best thing people can do is to enjoy their work, because that is all they have. No one can help another person see what will happen in the future.

I've been to two weddings this summer.  One had the worst MC and the other the best.  Here's what I learned while watching my two friends in operation.

 

1. Introduce yourself as quickly, simply, and briefly as possible.  Something like: "Hi, I'm Lorne, I'm a friend of the groom."

 

2. Now get on with your one job for the reception - the traffic controller.

 

3. Get people introduced with accuracy and appropriate, authentic honor.  Do your homework.  Make them look good so they will be good.

 

4. Forget the jokes.  They are not that good and you are not that funny.

 

5. Forget the wisdom and wise cracks.  Let them pay a professional for it after they crash into a wall.

 

6. You are in charge.  You are the traffic controller.  Remember, your presence right behind and a little to one side of a too long, too crude, too rude speech maker will divide the attention of the audience and help to abort their inappropriate presentation.

 

7. Serve the bride.  Serve the family.  Serve us.  Keep the program moving.  Give us quality time to do the quality items.  

 

8. Finally, self manage the inside stories that are warm and fuzzy for only 10% of the audience.  Save that stuff for the bachelor party or the bridesmaid's bridal shower.

 

 

Just some thoughts for the folks at the long tables, from the folks at the round tables.  As we say in church, "the view from the pew."

 

Ours is a "so what's the point, get to the bottom line, spare the details please"  kind of world.

 

It's hard to listen.  It's even harder to listen when you're hardly being listened to.

 

When you get trapped in a conversation with Harvey Wallbanger, one of the characters in my community, he will constantly punctuate his non-stop verbage with "Hear me out now!  Hear me out Lorne!" 

 

Chuck Swindoll once wrote: "Most conversations are actually dialogues of the deaf."  I know exactly when this is happening to me.  You're talking and I'm saying to myself: "Shut up, you're so boring.  My stuff is much more interesting, helpful, entertaining."  Dialogue of the deaf also happens when I'm listening at the 20% level and at the same time thinking about what I'm going to be saying at the 80% level. 

 

You know you are listening and being listened to when you ask questions and you get asked questions that call for more information, more words, more ideas.

 

Here's seven words from the Bible on the subject.

"Be quick to listen, slow to speak."  James 1:19

 

Listening is one gift anyone can give anyone. The better the listening the more valuable the gift.  Listen with your ears and hear their words.  Listen with your eyes and see their values.  Listen with your heart and feel their pain and pleasure.

 

Listen so you can say things like... 

"I hear what you're saying.  I can see this is really important to you.  I sense that this really matters to you."  

 

"Just listen!  Do you have an opinion while you are listening, because frankly, your opinion doesn't hold much water outside of your universe.  Just listen!  Listen until their brain has been twisted like a damp towel and what they have to say is all over the floor."  Hugh Elliott

 

The win-win for long listeners is this:  We learn very little when we talk.  We can learn lots when we listen. 

 

"So okay then, I'll hear you out.  Flap your lips. I'm listening. I'm probably going to end up knowing something that's new and true."

 

L:  Look at the person speaking to you.

A:  Ask questions.

D:  Don't interrupt.

D:  Don't change the subject.

E:  Empahtize.

R:  Respond verbally and nonverbally.

FOUR QUESTIONS YOU CAN START ANY DAY WITH

 

1. What's the best thing that can happen today?

 

2. What's the worst thing that can happen today?

 

3. What can I do today to make sure that the best thing does happen?

 

4. What can I do today to make sure that the worst thing doesn't happen?

West Jet is an Airline with head office situated in Calgary, Alberta. West Jet airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight 'safety lecture' and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

On a West Jet flight (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, 'People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!' 

On another West Jet Flight with a very 'senior' flight attendant crew, the pilot said, 'Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.'

On landing, the stewardess said, 'Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.' 

'There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.' 

'Thank you for flying West Jet Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.'

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at the Vancouver Airport , a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: 'Whoa, big fella. WHOA!'

From a West Jet Airlines employee: 'Welcome aboard West Jet Flight 245 to Calgary. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised.' 

'In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favourite.' 

'Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than West Jet Airlines.'

'Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.' 

'As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.' 

And from the pilot during his welcome message: 'West Jet Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!' 

Heard on West Jet Airlines just after a very hard landing in Edmonton: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, 'That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt.' 

Overheard on a West Jet Airlines flight into Regina, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Regina. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!' 

Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: 'We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.' 

Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: 'We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of West Jet Airways.' 

Heard on a West Jet Airline flight. 'Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing. If you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em.' 

"One for the money; two for the show; three to jump to papa; four to go."

 

With that verbal button pushed, one of my grandchildren explodes off a step and leaps into my arms.  I love it.  They love it. We cuddle and snuggle and giggle.  I suspect their parents will let me keep doing this until, God forbid,  I drop one of them. I wonder what the weight and age limit is going to be when this isn't going to happen anymore?

 

I"ve got a "One for the money for you."

 

"One for the money; two for the show; three to get coached; four to go."

 

Getting coached for the first time can appear to be as scarey as jumping into the arms of a trusted catcher. 

 

"One for the money....." Contact me for a complimentary coaching conversation.  I've got the coaching skills to catch you but most important,  you've got the promise, the potential, the freedom and the flexibility to design and to do your preferred future.   

 

"One for the money; two for the show;  "lorne@coachlorne.ca; four to just go ahead and do it."

 

 

 

ONE: EMERGENCY 

The Emergency Number worldwide for a cell phone is 112.  If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to connect the emergency number for you.  112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked.  Try it out.  

 

TWO:  USE CELL PHONE TO  UNLOCK YOUR KEYLESS 
            ENTRY CAR

If you lock your keys in a car with remote keyless entry, and the spare key is at home, call home from your cell phone.  Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at home press the unlock button while holding it near the phone.  Your car door or the trunk door will unlock.

 

THREE: HIDDEN BATTERY POWER

Your cell phone battery is very low.  Press the keys *3370#.  Your cell phone will restart using reserve power and will indicate a 50% increase in battery.  This reserve will be recharged the next time you charge your cell phone.

 

FOUR: DISABLE A LOST OR STOLEN CELL PHONE

Your cell phone's 15 digit code can be retrieved by pressing *#06#. Keep this number in a safe place.  Should your phone go missing you can phone your service provider and give them this code.  They will then be able to block your cell phone so even if the person who has it changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless.  

 

 

With aging comes a changing goal,

And one that's most bemusing.

No longer is it how to win,

But how to keep from losing.

Winnifred McAlister, my mother, was a money managing machine.  Among the things she brainwashed me with was this line:  "Son, if you look after the pennies, the dollars will look after themself."

 

My first job was pastor of a small church in Viking, Alberta.  I lived in the suite in the basement of that church. My salary was $100.00 a month and all the cookies I could con out of the congregation. One day I was having coffee with the chief of police and we were talking finance.  He said: "Well Lorne it's no shame to be poor,  just a little inconvenient. " 

 

I never forgot that "No-shame-just-pain" comment.

 

Soon after that I read for the first, of many times, a book by Clement Stone and Napoleon Hill called the Power of A Positive Mental Attitude.  In it is this great line from a black mother, Mrs Fuller,  to her son.  "Son we are poor not because of God's will.  We are poor because your daddy never had a burning desire to be rich." 

 

I have long believed that God is looking for people who will be a conduit of His blessing.  He blesses people so they will bless His world.  When He finds folk who He can flow blessing through it is unbelievable how blessed they will be in and through the process.  God gives to givers.  "Give and it shall be given unto you" is just one way this is talked about in the Bible.

 

Snag a copy and take a quick read through the 1996 bestseller The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas J Stanley and William D Danko.  Lots of useable stuff in it.

 

Here's some money mantras in my life.

 

• Buy the best, cry once.
• Shop a lot, buy a little.
• 10-10-80  Give 10%, Save 10%, Spend 80% with joy and thanksgiving.
• You have no idea the things you can do without until you try.
• Don't pay to play.
• Yearn for less than you earn.
• Don't be a dunce, take a lunch. (Never practiced as often as my wife would like.)
• Avoid buying status objects or leading a status lifestyle.
• Put your eggs in one basket and keep your eye on that basket
• Money fits into two columns, money I own - money I owe.
• Keep a sizable portion of your wealth in inflation sensitive assets, like real estate.  They hold their value better.
• Write yourself clear.  If it won't work on paper, it won't work.
• Godliness with contentment is great gain.
• When investing first work really hard at not losing your money.
• The higher the rate the higher the risk. Nobody pays high interest rates because they want to - they have to. 
• The hardest money to manage is money you win or inherit.
• When you breathe your last breath - spend your last buck.
• May your last check bounce.  

"Slow Fade"
Casting Crown Lyric

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see

"When I walk to the edge

of all the light I have

and take that step into

the darkness of the unknown

I believe one of two things will happen.

 

There will be something

solid for me to stand on

Or I will be taught to fly."

 

S. Marlin Edges

Really good answers tend to close things down, while really great questions open things up. 

 

What are you really trying to do with your life?

 

When was the last time you did something for the first time?

 

Is this your beginning of the end or merely the end of the beginning?

 

What would you do right now to make your world a better place to live in?

 

If your life chapter one is called My Struggle, and Chapter Two is My Quest For Success that Allowed No Rest, how would you describe chapter three - My Significant Action?

 

If there life after death?  For you, is there life after birth?  Is this what you dreamed your life would be like?

 

Twinkle, twinkle little star.  How I wonder who I are? 

"When you know who you are, you can be comfortable making decisions about what you want to do and where." - Peter Drucker

 

What ten things would you like to stop doing?  What ten things would you like to start doing? 

Today take action on one item on your stopping list and push the button on one thing on your starting list.

 

What is your punchy life sentence, your life purpose phrase, that you could have printed on a t-shirt?  

 

 

What day do you think is the most productive one in your year?

 

It's the day when the deadline is clear.  It's the day when the "to do list" is exact.  It's the day when you know clearly what needs to get done and when.

It's the day you absolutely will make a  D.I.N.T  Do-It-Now-Today!

 

What day am I talking about?

 

The day before you go on vacation!

 

No time to sneak in a game of solitaire.  There's no blue sky zone on this day.  

The report has to be written.  The conversation must take place.  The tasks have to be divided up and delegated. Despiration yields to delegation. 

 

It's exhausting.  It's demanding.  It's ratched up with stress but production happens, the jobs get cranked out, the projects get accomplished.  It's the most productive day in the year.  It's that action charged day just before you go on vacation. 

 

Murphy's law states: "Jobs swell to the amount of time available to do them."

 

Normally jobs take longer than planned, cost more than expected, and go wrong at the worst possible time. 

 

The day before vacation has a way of lazering through all off this kind of thing and gets it done because now it's time for some fun in the re-creation zone.

 

Happy holidays.  Read a good book. Hit a bucket of golf balls. Skip some smoothe stones across a calm creek. Sleep in.  Read the paper without the turbo switched on.  Notice the people you meet and really light up when your important folk walk into your world. Ask yourself a great coaching question.  There's lots of them right here if you just snoop around this site a bit.

 

My vacation starts tomorrow.  Today was full of  hurry, fury and scurry.

What I didn't get done will just have to wait.

 

 

 

"The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak."

I want to, I really do, but I'm bushed, exhausted, spent, pooped.  Comfy couch here I come. 

If I only had more strength I'd do it. Honest!

 

Flip that proverb on it's ear for a moment of heresy.  This is also true. "The flesh is willing but the spirit is weak." 

I just don't want to, I'm just not interested, I don't give a rip, frankly I'd rather not.  Oh you could if you would but you won't so you can't.

 

The flesh has incredible potential to bounce back, to give more, to show up. 

The problem often is not with the flesh but with the spirit.  The flesh is willing but the spirit just doesn't give a hoot.

 

You can put on the running shoes or the slippers, the work boots or the flipflops.  You can decide to give it or to give up, to hit the working bench or the resting room. 

 

It's like flipping a coin. 

Heads  "the-spirit-is-willing-but-the-flesh-is-weak"; 

Tails "the-flesh-is-willing-the-spirit-is-weak." 

 

You always have two options - the bed or the boots, the lawn or the lounge, the tube or the tools.  The flesh and the spirit are willing.  The flesh and the spirit are weak.  Pick.  

 

"You're more likely to act yourself into feeling than feel yourself into action."  Jerome Bruner   

THE PREMIUM RULE - PLUS or MINUS

• Do unto others as others as you would have others do unto them -     The PREMIUM Rule - (You set the standard)

 

• Do unto other as others would have you do unto them. - The PLATINUM Rule (Others set the standard)

 

• Do unto others what other have done unto you - The PAY BACK Rule

• Do unto others before others do unto you. - The PREEMPTIVE Rule

• Do unto others as others have done unto you - The PATTERN Rule

 

• Do unto you as others would have you do unto you - The PRAISE-PUNISH Rule 

TOP TEN TIPS FROM SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE

 

Ø        Successful people face what is and deal with it. What is, is.

Ø        Successful people really want what they want.

Ø        Successful people don’t hold onto bad stuff for long.

Ø        Successful people develop a plan for reaching their goals.

Ø        Successful people know that be + do = have.

Ø        Successful people do it or don’t do it.  There’s no such thing as try.

Ø        Successful people know how to talk themselves forward.

Ø        Successful people do the tough stuff first.

Ø        Successful people dream it and then do it.

Ø        Successful people value the purpose, the progress and the process.

 

 

Do It Anyway    ------Martina McBride You can spend your whole life building Something from nothing One storm can come and blow it all away Build it anyway. You can chase a dream That seems so out of reach And you know it might not ever come your way Dream it anyway God is great but sometimes life ain’t good And when I pray It doesn't always turn out like I think it should But I do it anyway I do it anyway This worlds gone crazy And it's hard to believe That tomorrow will be better than today Believe it anyway You can love someone with all YOUR heart For all the right reasons And in a moment they can choose to walk away love them anyway God is great but sometimes life ain’t good And when I pray It doesn't always turn out like I think it should But I do it anyway You can pour your soul out singing A song you believe in That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang Sing it anyway

 

MOMENTS THAT MATTER

 

Written by Mark Irwin/Josh Kear/Aaron Lines

I used to think I was a big shot
Thought I had it all but guess what
Can't measure life by the things you got
In the end it all adds up to nothin'

I swear I miss so many birthdays
Valentines, halloweens and anniversaries
Left me lonesome in the worst ways
But mister I learned something

Chorus:
You can buy back the moments that matter
You can buy back the moments that matter
There's a big pot of gold at the top of the ladder
But you can buy back the moments that matter

I'm gonna play some football in the backyard
Teach my nephew how to play the guitar
Call up some old friends and play some cards
Waste a few Saturday evenings

Gonna take my wife out dancin'
Every now and then without her askin'
Spin her around singin' and laughin'
There's memories we should be makin'

Second Chorus:
And you can buy back the moments that matter
You can buy back the moments that matter
Years pass you by, days start to scatter
But you can buy back the moments that matter

All this talk about the good life
Makes me realize I got a great life
Gotta keep my priorities in sight
You just get one time around

And you can buy back the moments that matter
You can buy back the moments that matter
There's a big pot of gold at the top of the ladder
But you can buy back the moments that matter

What is it about you that other people would change if they could?

What are you not willing to say "no" to and what is the price that you are paying for this decision?

Who do you need to get off your team, out of your circle of  influence or  who do you need to stop hanging with, so you can finally take charge of you and flex towards your preferred future?

Who do you need to forgive - not trust - deliberately, intentionally decidedly forgive, so you can bless yourself with the gift of freedom and be set free from the painful prison and poison of your past?

I know, I understand,  you don't know who to ask for help, but if you did know who to ask, who would you ask for help?

If the only investments you can control are the investments you make in yourself, then what investments do you need to start making in you, in other words, what new "truth tools" do you need in your toolbox?

 

LIFT THE WORDS OFF THE PAGE.
By Coach Lorne McAlister

“I sure hope he will be able to lift the words off the page.”
CBC reporter’s comment on President Obama’s June 09 speech at The University of Cairo.

That is always the challenge when dealing with words put on a page in order to clarify what needs to take place, what steps need to be taken, what intentions need to be followed through on. 

“A song is not a song until you sing it.
A bell is not a bell until you ring it.
Love in your heart wasn’t meant there to stay.
Love isn’t love until you give it away"

“You shall know the truth and the truth shall set your free.”  Bible

Raw, naked truth does not set you free. 
It is known, internalized, acted on truth that sets you free.

Lifting the words off the page is what makes the big difference.

Principles lived, promises kept, goals strived for, destructive habits challenged, that’s the kind of stuff that puts a man in motion. 

So what are you going to do with the words on your page?

Attack your words with your will.
Visualize what needs to be done.
Prioritize your action plan.
  q       Do this now
     q       Do that next.

Now vitalized the process by adding a time line?  I will do this… by then.

I sure hope you will lift the words off the page.

Punchy statements can slap you silly or slap you smart.  Here's five from Steven Peter Thomas called Five Learnings.
"Change is different."
"The future is tomorrow."
"People are human."
"Learning is hard."
"Communication is important."

Let me ask you the standard panhandler question - "Do you have any change?   I'm not thinking about the coinage in your pocket or purse but your life. 
Do you have any life change?

When's the last time you did something for the first time?

Change is different.  Treat yourself to some today.

"Every day do something that scares you to death - life.

Shout  "YES"  today to  the rush of risk.

Coach Lorne

I'm in the communication business. I work hard at getting stuff to stick.  I love the professor rant from my long friend Dr. Gordon Franklin,

              "Ram it in.  Jam it in.  Student's heads are hollow. 
                  Ram it in, Jam it in. There is more to follow."

Nobody remember a speech but they do leave with an oneliner, a significant sentence.  That's my goal. When I'm preping the talk in my study, blasting away at some audience or engaging in an energized Q&A with a leadership team, my thinking thoughts (are there any other) are  "I dare you not to listen."  Come to think of it, I've made some far out statement that are barely true as I kept  hoping to keep people hooked in for the punch line.  I'm not always right but I'm seldom in doubt.  

Here's the picture.  I'm always trying to slam a sheet of paper with a life changing sentence onto the nail sticking out  people's brain.

When the statement is too true to miss I try not to leave it up to being caught with just one throw. Here's the three things I like to think I do with the premium stuff in the speech.

• Tell them what you are going to tell them.
• Tell them.
• Tell them what you told them.

Three kick at the can is usually enough for me and for those not snoozing and loosing  it's also "enough already".  

 “Your core values are those qualities which, for you, have intrinsic worth.”

“Personal values are principles that define you as an individual.  Personal values, such as honesty, reliability and trust, determine how you will face the world and relate with people.”
                                    .....Sherry Lowry and Dr. Diane Menendez

Your values are who you are.  Not who you would like to be, not who you think you should be, but who you are in your life, right now.  Your values serve as a compass pointing out what it means to be true to yourself.  When you honor your values on a regular basis, life is good and fulfilling. 

When your values drive you towards your goals you are unstoppable.

Your life long task is to: 
·  Clarify - mine them
·  Honor - own them
·  Align with - live them

"It is not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are."
                                        .......Roy Disney, Walt Disney World

"Your values are your reasons for doing something.  It's the 'why' that motivates the 'what'."
                                        ......Stephen M. Covey